Reclaim Your Power Growth Mindset Post Break Up Self Love Self Motivation Growing pains Be Best

Reclaiming Your Power 101

Sometimes it takes getting knocked down to rock bottom to truly realize how often and freely you give your power away. When I say power, I don’t mean control, mentally or physically, I mean your peace and who you are.

Whether it is through relationships (both good and bad), work environments, expectations from family, anything really, we as humans can tend to lose ourselves and who we are by giving most, if not all, of our power to others (people, places, or things). If I’m confusing you with these winded explanations, let me break it down short and sweet :

Reclaiming your power is about loving and trusting in yourself.

Think about all the times you’ve allowed your thoughts, values, or goals to shift because of an outside influence. Or maybe even saw a future, with a person, or at a company, that was swiftly taken away from you. Those moments, when you feel lost, when your heart is in the bottom of your stomach, and you don’t know where to turn next, are when you need to reclaim you, your power, the most. Your path and life will change, that is inevitable. Staying true to who you are and even learning who you are, through tough times, when you feel powerless, is what reclaiming your power truly means.

Before getting into some ways to reclaim your power, it is important to acknowledge what you are feeling and why you are feeling it. Identifying why you feel lost and why you may be out of sorts can require some deep soul searching, but it is necessary. Was it getting let go at a job? A breakup? Fight with a friend? Understanding what is causing these low-level emotions is the first step. Next Step? Feel them.

Feel every single emotion. Name everything thing you are feeling. Sadness. Resentment. Disappointment. Regret. Relief. Anger. Then think about how you feel each of those. The knot in your stomach. The rock in your throat. That piercing pain above your eyebrow in your brain. The heaviness in your legs. Now tie those intense feelings to the words. That knot is your stomach tightens up when you are sad or missing someone. That intense headache is when you are disappointed in yourself. Whatever it is for you, identify it. and feel it. Feel the low-level emotions! Do not sweep these under the rug, because these feelings aren’t “bad” feelings, consider them signs. When you start to connect the “gut” feelings to the emotions or the situation, you’ll start to listen to your body when it is screaming “no” to you. You’ll start to get what your body has been trying to tell you all along. Once you are in tune with yourself, then you can start the internal work to reclaim your power. You got this.

Embrace Failure

Not everything is going to be perfect, and that is ok. Understanding, and I mean truly understanding, that not everything will be sunshine and rainbows is the key to embracing failure. In order to reclaim your power, its important to redefine “failure” as just a shift in direction from your ideal plan. Got that job you love and look forward to every day, but then there is a re-org and that position is no longer available? Not a failure. Just a shift. Maybe you’ll find an even better position with better pay. Just because one thing ends, doesn’t mean that life is over.

At the end of the day “failure” teaches us lessons. Teachable moments aren’t just for a classroom, they are for everyday life. Failing does not mean the end of the road, it means something new is on the horizon. Reclaiming your power can start when you start seeing a “failure” as a pivot to a new opportunity or new experience, there’s really no limits to where life will progress to.

Saying No

Say no – frequently and often, if necessary.

The power in saying no is extraordinary. Honestly, saying yes when you do not want to say yes to something can cause a slew of unhealthy chain reactions. The mental, and sometimes physical, stress of people-pleasing can be so incredibly heavy. Saying yes to everything, is quite literally, putting everybody before yourself. Remember, reclaiming your power is really putting yourself, your health and thoughts, first. Are there times when you have to say yes, 100%. I’m not encouraging you to say “No” whenever you are asked to do something, its always nice to go above and beyond for someone or step out of your comfort zone every once in a while, but more to set limitations and think about what you truly want to do and, more importantly, are capable of doing.

Do you want to go out to dinner with that guy you met last night at a bar? Not really, but he bought you a few drinks and it is at a really nice restaurant you’ve always wanted to try, so you might as well say yes and go. Nope. If you aren’t feeling something, say no, it could be a hard no or a “no, but.” Think about it : That dinner you said yes to, when you really wanted to say no, seems like a hassle because you really wanted to stay in tonight and lay low get some extra work done. You’ve been sleeping like crap and really wanted to get to bed early in hopes of feeling refreshed the next morning. Work has been super stressful since it is Q4, so you wanted to spend some extra time on the project you’ve been assigned while just relaxing with some much needed alone time. But you went to the dinner anyway, felt bad that he might think you aren’t interested if you said no, so you didn’t rest like you needed or get the work done. That dinner you said yes to, made you incredibly stressed out at work the next day because you had 3 client calls and no time to complete the tasks you wanted to be done with already but didn’t have the chance to finish because you had to get ready to go out last night. Not to mention the splitting headache thats a caused from the combination of a slight wine hangover and lack of sleep. You’re now staying at work late to get work done, but things keep piling on your plate. Your stress level just keeps rising because you don’t know when are how you’ll be able to catch up. Totally random, relatable, and super broad example, but see how one people-pleasing “yes” can turn into a landslide of events in multiple aspects of your life? It really is ok to say No. You’ve probably experienced much more severe instances than this one, but I’m sure you get it.

“Saying No” not only helps you reclaim your power, but it can help bring happiness, define your path, and provide you with clear vision on where you, and only you, want to see your life heading.

Stay Away From Toxic People Who Disrupt Your Peace

Say. It. Louder. For. The. People. In. The. Back.

This is going to be short sweet and to the point. Seeing the best in every person is very important, but what’s more important is identifying when someone is no good, or no longer good, for you and your life. If someone is sucking energy from you, it is ok to stay away from them. Sometimes you notice this right away, other times it stays hidden for sometime. It can be difficult, like extremely difficult, to cut ties with people, but in order to reclaim your power, you need to set boundaries with people and sometimes that means parting ways. Respect yourself, your energy, and most importantly your peace.

Quick Sidenote : You can be toxic for someone else, too. Internally think about what you are bringing to the table and begin to identify your own toxic behaviors. Self Improvement is always necessary. If someone leaves you, or something happens that you did not initiate, part of taking back your power, is acknowledging that maybe you were not meant to be in that situation. Maybe this plot twist you didn’t see coming is leading you to some of the best things in your life.

Be Alone

You do not have to always associate with something else. A person, place or thing. Not everyone has a place in your life. You do not have a place in everyone’s life. There will be times when you seem to be charting into unknown waters, alone. That’s okay. It can be scary, but again, that’s okay.

Reclaiming your power is not a giant happy party, going through this sucks. Like big time, sucks. In full transparency, learning who you are, what you are capable of, and getting over a painful event is not easy. Yes, this is a super light-hearted and fun blog post, but we need to call a spade a spade and it really is difficult. If you are embarking on this journey to reclaim your power, I commend you. I am excited for you and hope at the end you rise as the person you are meant to be.

Embrace the suck. Embrace being alone. Embrace finding yourself. Embrace trusting yourself. When no one is next to you to guide you or hold your hand, you are the only person who can lead. You and you alone, with your intuition and whatever spiritual wisdom you believe in, are it. This is when you really discover who you are, what you need, and what you want. You can also find out who is meant to be in your life and who isn’t, but that comes from really connecting with, understanding, and loving yourself.

Reclaim Your Power

At the end of the day, the point is to not let a situation or person take and maintain keeping your power. Your power is yours, don’t let it escape you. Letting a situation or person have power over you is what we want to avoid. That painful breakup may seem like the end, it’s not. That business you started going under, it’s not the end. The minute you start to maintain your power in whatever situation life throws at you, really shows how much you have healed.

If you are currently on the healing journey, and reclaiming your power, I am excited for you. Healing is truly an incredible thing and is something many people brush over lightly. To truly heal and reclaim your power is rewarding. As you continue on your healing journey, always remember to:

  1. Maintain The Standards That You Set
  2. Embrace Your True Authenticity
  3. Never Settle
  4. Truly and Entirely, Protect Your Energy
  5. Allow for Set Backs and Continued Growth

Good Luck. You Got This.


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Uplifting Quotes That Can Turn Your Day Around

Need a little boost today? I’m right there with you! This is technically my last full week working for the year and there’s been tons of stress building up around that. Knowing that a lot of companies close around the 15th of December until the New Year – I figured it would be a good time to share some uplifting quotes.

Need a pick me up? These uplifting quotes are sure to help turn your day around.


A diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure.

Henry Kissinger

If you want to fly, let go of everything that weighs you down.

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Tough times never last, tough people do.

Robert H. Schuller

A little progress each day adds up to big results.

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Those who move forward with a happy spirit will find that things will always work out.

Gordon B. Hinckley

When you focus on the good, the good increases

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Change the world by being yourself.

Be somebody who makes everybody feel like somebody.

Strength grows in the moments when you think you can’t go on but you keep going anyway.

Trust in the timing of your life.

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Believe in yourself and you will be unstoppable.

Growth is growth – no matter how small.

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The same light you see in others is shining within you, too.

Fall seven times. Stand up eight.

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You have always been enough.

Inhale confidence, exhale doubt.

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Life is tough but so are you.

Be patient with yourself. Nothing in nature blooms all year.

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Celebrate every win, no matter how small.

Wake up every morning with the thought that something wonderful is going to happen.

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Positive Mindset - How to make a comeback - Growth mindset

How to Make Your Comeback Better Than the Setback

Who remembers Britney Spears in 2007? I absolutely do. That, my friends, is coming damn near close to hitting rock bottom. Shaved head and all Britney climbed back up from the depths of darkness to one of the best comebacks the world has ever seen. As much as I hope no one ever gets near rock bottom, there’s sometimes other things that happen in our life that can send us into an emotional spiral.

Let’s admit it, life isn’t always butterflies and rainbows. We’ve all had those moments where it seems like any and all things that can go wrong, go wrong. But let’s take a page out of Britney’s 2007 book, get back up and bounce back to your bad ass self that you know you are.

Things are going to happen, break-ups, fights, disappointments at work, even something as small as forgetting to do something you had to do! Don’t you dare let your setback ruin your comeback. Whatever it is that has got you all out of sorts, let’s handle it and get you back to the strong confident person you know you are. As one of my favorite people told me, “put on your big girl jeggings and handle it.” So let’s do the damn thing:

1. Embrace How You Are Feeling

This is your time to get your emotions out. Get mad, get angry, get ridiculously upset, give yourself five minutes of emotional time. Whatever you are going through or dealing with, really feel it and all the emotions that go with it.

Honestly, get your emotions out. A little cry never hurt anyone and neither did getting really angry about a situation. Think about what happened, really reflect on your feelings, why you feel that way, and what caused it to get to this point. Really bask in the crappiness of what happened to you. We are not in the business of brushing emotions under the rug and forgetting about them. Own it.

Seriously, let every single emotion out. Rant to your friends. Write in your journal. Throw a hissy fit in your room. Don’t punch walls or people, let’s let out our emotions while controlling anger :). Do not hold back. Why is this important? Because embracing your emotions makes you more aware of what is going on. It helps spark a little fire under your butt to do something about it and make change.

Maybe that guy you were talking to ghosted you. That sucks. You really liked him and really thought it could go somewhere. Get mad. How could someone do something like that to you?! Maybe you were expecting a promotion at work and it went to someone else. Be angry, you worked hard every day and produced quality work every single day. Maybe a relationship ended that you didn’t expect to. Losing someone close to you sucks especially when you didn’t want it to happen. Be sad, it’s okay to cry about it.

You know what happens from owning your emotions and really thinking about what’s happened? It sparks action.

2. Identify What the Problem is

You got all the feels out of the way now, so let’s move on and figure out what exactly the problem is.

Confirmed – You know how you feel about what happened to you and it’s not a good feeling. Do not allow yourself to become a Negative Nancy. It’s easy to get lost in your emotions and start thinking that different aspects of your life are falling apart also (when they really aren’t). You might even start to nit-pick yourself and ask questions like “What if I didn’t do this?” or “What if I had done that?” What if questions are deadly, avoid those at all costs.

Let’s use the break-up as the example here. Break-ups suck, if you do the breaking up or get broken up with, there is still a lot of pain and emotions involved. Let’s not go Carrie Underwood in this and start keying the side of trucks.

First ask yourself – How exactly do you feel about what’s happened and why?

“Like trash” has been my go-to for when I feel negative emotions, but that’s not helping yourself. Think about each emotion and why.

Why are you sad? You’re losing one of your best friends are it’s hard to imagine life without them. You weren’t expecting this. You think you hurt someone you deeply care about’s feelings. You already miss the person.
Why are you angry? You can’t believe you poured so much into one relationship to have it fail. Some choice words might have been exchanged and you are heated about it.

Next, ask yourself – Does it make sense that I feel this way?

Let’s be honest with ourselves, sometimes the crisis handling stops here. I am 100% guilty of realizing my emotions are uncalled for and it’s pretty funny to look back and laugh about some things that I let get under my skin. But remember if you neglect to reflect on why you are feeling some sort of way, you might not ever have this realization. Go through each emotion and if you come to the conclusion that all those feels are justifiable, then:

Finally, ask yourself – What is it that is really bothering me?

Maybe you start to come to the conclusion that you are sad because this happened again. Rejection and failure are two pretty hard pills to swallow.

Maybe you understand that some of your actions, or theirs, were just unacceptable and the relationship was unhealthy. Letting go of something, even if it is not right for you, is tough to do.

Use these questions for whatever situation you find yourself in. Understand exactly what it is that is causing you to be upset.

3. Find the Silver Lining

I am such a firm believer that there is a positive that comes out of every crappy situation. Our girl Britney went from shaving her head in an emotional meltdown to releasing the #1 Billboard Album, Circus. She even etched that $30 million dollar Las Vegas residency deal a few years ago! If she could get through 2007, then you can damn right get through today.

As miserable as you may think a situation is, there is also some piece of positivity that can come from it. Change your perspective and realize that not everything is in the shitter. It’s difficult to do when you think everything is going up in flames in one big old dumpster fire around you, but there are so many good things happening that you might not even notice.

Try to come up for 5 things that make you happy, they can be anything! They might have nothing to do with the situation that just happened, but get brainstorming. Once you do this you might have a different perspective looking at the crap setback you have in your life. Look at the situation through a different pair on glasses, and it might open your eyes to seeing some new things.

Plan Your Comeback

Now that you looked through the original problem and can see that it is not as debilitating as it seemed. It’s time to get to action.


So let’s make the damn thing happen.

Pick your head up and get to work. No sulking here. You don’t get time back and the more time you wait the tougher it will be to get a grasp on what’s happened to you. The final few questions you need to ask yourself here are –

What am I going to accomplish?
Is this maintainable and something I can stick to?
How am I going to get this done?

With that I’ll leave you with something to think about. Only you know what you are really feeling and going through, don’t let anyone tell you that you should or should not be having a set of emotions. Because you are in control of how you feel, you are also in control of how you come back!

Remember that you are strong, confident, amazing human who is capable of incredible things. Don’t ever let some person or event take that from you.


I really hope this was helpful for you. I’ve been dealing with my own setback this past week and am starting to feel like I am getting back to being myself. I know I’m a far ways off and know that really getting over something takes time, but now is a great time to start and make the mindset change. – Tina


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Barstool Sports Hoodie Selfie = Life Lessons Learned During Covid-19 Stay at Home Order

Life Lessons Learned During the Covid-19 Stay at Home Order

Throughout the past almost 7 weeks of staying at home because of Coronavirus, I’ve managed to do some thinking about pretty much everything. It’s not very often that I have this much time on my hands. If you follow me on instagram you know I’ve been on the go, and “stay at home” wasn’t really a thing for me. I just hit the road not as frequently as normal.

I’ve managed to travel between New Jersey, New York, Massachusetts, and New Hampshire. Don’t worry social distancing was practiced and plenty of hand sanitizer was used. Being able to “stay at home,” made me realize that I don’t really know where home is and that’s totally ok. I like exploring and seeing new places. In the crazy life, the most important thing is to be happy and I’m thankful for this pandemic for showing me that. Here’s how I’ll be focusing on happiness from here on out:

Get outside and enjoy the world as much as possible.

There is so much to see and so much to do. Staying inside for even one whole day is torturous. Whether it’s a walk around your neighborhood or a hike up in the mountains, getting outside is therapeutic.

Fresh air is an amazing thing. It’s easy to get lost in the day to day craziness of work or life and sooner rather than later you’ve been stuck inside for a week straight. I’ve managed to come up with over 15 places, near and far, that I have added to my to-do list for the year. I will make them all happen.

Life LessonFind what moves you and get going. For me its traveling, road tripping, and getting outside to see new places.

Appreciate the people around you.

You are the people you surround yourself with. That’s always been a fact that I’ve loved. Being around people who lift you up and make you the best you that you can be is so important.

From friends to family, this quarantine has allowed me to get closer to the best friends and family. I didn’t think that would be possible, but when it comes down to it your people keep you together. It’s been the new normal to find ways to get together and stay close when the world is literally out to make that impossible.

Life LessonDistance sucks, but it can’t break your closest relationships. Distance can be a tricky thing, but it also makes the heart grow fonder.

Don’t do things that take away from your happiness.

This is a huge thing for me. I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately about what I should be doing and what really makes me happy. I’ve started doubling down on putting my energy where I get the most happiness and removing it from areas that are taking from my happiness.

Just one small shift in energy can change your whole mood. Life is to be determined (see what I did there). There’s no point in being unhappy or chasing something that just doesn’t do it for you.

During this quarantine I made some pretty big life choices that can really alter the rest of my life. Wild stuff. In the end I know I’ll be better off than I was before because if there’s one thing you should focus on, it’s being happy.

Life LessonBE HAPPY! No explanation needed.

Do things for you.

It comes down to being happy, and I forget about that from time to time. Did it take a pandemic and a nationwide shut down for me to realize that? Yes. There’s always a rainbow after rain. That works as a metaphor, I think?

Regardless do things that make you happy. Life is too short to be with people who irritate you, to spend time at a job you don’t like, and to be doing things you don’t want to be doing.

If it’s 5 minutes a day or the whole 24 hours, do something you’ve always wanted to do. You’ve got time with this whole quarantine thing.

Life LessonJust do it.


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Do Something Great. Monday Motivation

Why You Should Never Take a Monday Off

I heard the saying “You should never take a Monday off,” back when I was competitively bodybuilding. It’s safe to say I definitely do not body build anymore #fluffy. Regardless, I did learn quite a few lessons that carried over into many of other aspects of life. Never taking off a Monday might be the best piece of advice I’ve ever been given.

I don’t mean literally taking Monday off from work.

Taking off Monday isn’t about physically not going to work or showing up for your responsibilities that day. It’s about not letting your excuses win.

In bodybuilding, the workouts and diet are extremely strict. Every single day is calculated. One misstep and there goes the entire plan! 16 weeks worth of hard work would be ruined and future plans would be shifted and altered to make up for the time lost. One slip up can cause a severely negative chain reaction.

Coming off the weekend high, it’s difficult to reign back in focus and snap back into the grind. But you can’t allow yourself to fall off track, from whatever it is you are chasing. Just as easily as the chain reaction can be negative, it can also be positive.

If it’s being a bodybuilder, getting a promotion at work, or building a brand, you can’t let your excuses get the best of you and put your progress one day back from where it should be. Keep everything moving upwards and to the right, don’t take a Monday off.

If you skip Monday, you’ll want to skip the rest of the days of the week too.

Monday is typically the first day of the work week and is what drives the mood, or crashes it, for the rest of the week. If you allow yourself to procrastinate and push off what you need to do, chances are you’ll continue to push it off. It’s easier to give up than it is to put in the work and grind.

With bodybuilding, there are times when you can’t move because your body is too tired. The training and workouts are so rigorous and the caloric intake is so low, that there is barely enough energy to do simple tasks.

Common thoughts are, I’ll just sleep in this morning, If I don’t train today I’ll just eat less, One day off won’t kill me. If you sleep in one morning, you’ll want to sleep in the next. If you don’t train today and mess up your meal plan, your nutrition will be off. One day off may actually kill all your progress.

Take a lesson from all the body builders out there, you may not see it right away or notice a difference immediately, but if you skip what you need to be doing there will be side effects. What about if you don’t skip a Monday?

If you can make it through Monday, you can survive the rest of the week

Kick starting the week on a positive note and doing what you set out to do can light your fire to keep it going for the rest of the week. Mondays are typically the speed bump to the week. They’re tough because the weekend can be so fun and you are content with where you are. Being content can be deadly.

Completing a tough workout on Monday, for a bodybuilder, can define your whole week. If you put in the effort and time, it will be returned to you. Knowing you crushed the most difficult part of your week gets you ready to take on the remainder.

Getting over the Monday speed bump can lead to some next level productivity. Proving to yourself that you are stronger than your excuses can keep that momentum and positive energy moving for days to come.

In bodybuilding, one workout can change your whole physique. One more treadmill session can get you that much leaner. You won’t know what could be, unless you do it.

The one workout that you don’t skip and the mile that you ran even though your legs wanted to give out ultimately was the difference between placing in a show and not. Just that thought, knowing you accomplished something that seemed so difficult becomes the light you need to keep working and moving forward.

A positive Monday leads to a positive Tuesday and so on. Giving your best on Monday will make your Tuesday better, which will make your Wednesday better. Get it?

If you didn’t realize it yet your “Monday” can really be anything.

Tackling Monday isn’t just something for bodybuilders. Getting over your excuses and not caving into being mediocre and content can relay to life on so many different levels. Work, Education, Professional Development, Household Chores or Tasks, really anything can be your Monday. When you debate “skipping a Monday” you are asking yourself, “How bad do I really want this?”

Don’t wait another day to start working towards your goal, whatever it is. Wasted time can’t be brought back, so get going on the right foot and do what you set out to do. Whatever effort you put in will get you closer to your goal. Skipping is the only thing that can move you backwards.

You’ll run into days you’re too tired, unmotivated, and lazy. Don’t fall to your excuses. Remember to never skip a Monday.


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Motivation Monday

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