How to have a good week, positive mindset, personal growth, bad day, good day, bad week, good week, long island

Making a Bad Week A Good Week

This week has been absolutely crazy, and I’m writing this on Wednesday. I’m sure you’ve had a week like this, ya know that feels like 3 months but it’s only 7 days? Working at a Marketing Agency on Long Island, during pre-holiday season, means mass controlled chaos. Stress from work is at an all time high coupled with the sun setting early, makes for not the best the best mood. Working 10 hour plus days, working at home in the same place all day, waking up in the dark and ending your day in the dark, all have been the norm since day light savings and it’s all started to compound into one bad mood. I have managed 2 meltdowns in one week (it’s only Wenesday). Let’s be real – this week has been anything but a highlight.

But has it really been that bad? Yes, dealing with all the work stress and seasonal depression is tough but it’s not the only thing worth thinking about. Focusing on the negative makes everything negative. Focusing on the positive makes everything positive. Mindset shifts can really change your entire mood. Yes, I’ll be the first person to tell you I’ve been a grump and counting down the minutes til the weekend since I went to bed on Sunday night. But in the grand scheme of things this week really hasn’t been that bad, here’s why :

1. Got Started On Christmas Shopping

2. Started Blogging Again

3. Worked Out Every Day

4. Planned Dinner with a Friend I Haven’t Seen in a While

5. I am Finalizing a New Business

6. Re-Organized my Dresser

7. Ate Lunch & Dinner Every Day (big win)

8. Step Count Averaged Over 6k Steps a Day

9. Went To Target

10. Drank 64oz+ of Water Every Day

If you can’t find 10 good things about your week, then you need to go back and re-adjust how you look at it. Stressful days at work or dram with friends happens, it’s easy for it to consume your thoughts. Always remember that there is always a silver lining. You might read my ten things and go “Tina, seriously?” But I promise that organizing my dresser and getting my step count over 5k a day are huge accomplishments. Take a minute and think about the good things that happened when you’re having a crappy week, I promise you that not everything is as bad as it seems.

I challenge you on your toughest week to sit back and come up with 10 things that you accomplished or are proud of. I promise it’s not as difficult as it seems. It also feels amazing to have that mindset shift from negative to positive!


Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

Follow Along on Instagram @teenafey


Life Milestones Adults Should Be Celebrating.

I just had to fill out a survey for “life milestones” that I have completed or anticipate completing in the past and upcoming year. Just a few questions included were : Did you buy a home? Are you pregnant? Did you have a baby? Are you planning a wedding? Do you plan or planning a wedding? Do you plan on getting pregnant? Are you going to be a bridesmaid in a wedding? Are you graduating with a new degree? If anyone knows my life, you are aware that the answer to every single one of those questions is a hard no. I’m sure there are many others who fall into the same boat as me. If we haven’t answered yes to any of those questions, have we really accomplished anything in our lives so far?

Some might say yes. But I don’t think that’s the case at all, soo ya girl did a little brainstorming. Check out this list of life milestones that adults should be celebrating.

Social Media does not always do the best job at building up our self esteems. With social media feeds with perfectly curated images with designer fashion, luxurious vacations, and every home renovation you’ve ever wanted (for the house you don’t own), constantly being scrolled through and double tapped it’s hard to not compare your reality to someone else’s. Comparing your life to someone else’s is inevitable but should be avoided at all costs. If you think you have nothing to celebrate in your life than keep reading.

Life Milestones That Should be Celebrated More

Starting a New Job

Any change in a career should be noted as a milestone. We spend most of our time working, at least I do! Our jobs and careers do define us to a degree because they take up a lot of our daily time. One of the first questions you ask someone when you meet them is, “What do you do?” Your career is a large part of your life, so why not celebrate a change? So if you got a new job this year or hell if you left your job and started your own company, You go Glen Coco! That’s a milestone if I’ve ever heard of one.

It takes guts to take a leap of faith and start something new. Whether it’s a job in a new industry, a total new career path, or a new business. Trust me, that does not go unnoticed. There’s multiple reasons why you might get a new job. You could out grow your current role or you could have gotten fired. Maybe you had a very toxic workplace and finally built up the courage to jump ship. Moral of the story – It’s a big decision, a big deal, and definitely a life milestone.

Leaving a Toxic Relationship

There’s always so much celebration about relationships moving to the next level or stage, but there doesn’t seem to be any for ending one. In today’s world there is a lot pressure to portray a perfect life and image and that includes relationships. Having a picture perfect engagement and wedding are things that some people dream of, even if it is with the wrong person and things are going south. We create false realities and say “it will get better.” Sometimes that works, but other times it doesn’t. If you are in a relationship that just isn’t working anymore, there is no harm is saying you tried, you did your best (Dane Cook voice #iykyk), and it’s time to move on.

Let’s start seeing endings as new beginnings. Leaving a toxic relationship is so much more of an accomplishment to be proud of than sticking around and forcing a future with someone that just isn’t meant to be. Realizing your worth and leaving a bad situation is 100% a life milestone.

Moving to a New City

Moving is typically tied with sadness, not always but hear me out. Leaving a place you’ve lived means leaving the life you’ve built, the friends you’ve made, and your home behind. It’s so tough. I’ve moved and seen friends move to different sides of the country, and it hurts every time. It’s sad to know that things aren’t going to be the same anymore and that life is going to change. Just because things are changing doesn’t mean it’s a bad change!

Whether it’s you moving or a friend moving, it is something to be celebrated. Change is a good thing and that needs to be celebrated more. Embrace that new city and the new life you are going to built! Look at everything that’s ahead, not what you are leaving behind. Life milestone approved.

Paying off Your Credit Cards in Full Every Month

You know what’s really cool? Finally being able to call yourself financially stable.

Starting out a career right out of college or after high school has the tough reality that you aren’t going to be making the amount of money that you want to be to support your lifestyle. That can lead to crippling debt month over month, and that’s a scary position to be in. What’s a really awesome accomplishment that you should be proud of? Finally being able to pay off a credit card balance in full and not carry over debt month to month. That’s a life milestone accomplishment. Can you also start putting money aside to invest into a 401k? You’ve made it to stability, you should be pumped.

Starting a Side Hustle

Starting a side hustle means you are hungry for more, and that’s a pretty awesome thing! That means you want more out of life than you are currently getting. Maybe it’s more money, a more fulfilling path, or a more flexible schedule so you can spend more time with your family. Your “why” could be a million different things and it doesn’t impact the fact that you started something new! That’s something to be celebrated.

It takes a whole lot of courage to start something new and takes even more to continue building something from scratch every single minute of every single day. The effort and dedication it takes to start a side hustle is no small feat. If you decided to start you own side hustle, kudos to you, you took the first step. Life milestone achieved!

Saying “No” to Someone or to Something

Learning to respect your time is a huge deal. I’m a big yes person, and I’m still working on this, but I am so incredibly proud and jealous of the people who have mastered this. When you say no to a person or an obligation, it is ok. You’re not letting anyone down. It’s a big deal to finally respect your time and realize that you cannot do everything, you may want to but you also don’t want to run yourself into the deep end. Saying “No” to someone or something is an accomplishment in itself.

Huge shout out to everyone who can say no to an event or plans, you reached a big old life milestone and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.


See there’s a lot of things to be celebrated as life milestones!

What have you done that is a major life milestone? Let’s normalize celebrating the little things that are really big things!

The moral of the story here is to know that you are living an amazing and fulfilled life, even if you aren’t hitting the so-called life milestones that you’re supposed to be accomplishing at your age. There are so many things to be celebrated every single day.

Real Talk – do not compare your life to someone else’s 🙂


Follow me on Instagram for all the latest! @teenafey


Positive Mindset - How to make a comeback - Growth mindset

How to Make Your Comeback Better Than the Setback

Who remembers Britney Spears in 2007? I absolutely do. That, my friends, is coming damn near close to hitting rock bottom. Shaved head and all Britney climbed back up from the depths of darkness to one of the best comebacks the world has ever seen. As much as I hope no one ever gets near rock bottom, there’s sometimes other things that happen in our life that can send us into an emotional spiral.

Let’s admit it, life isn’t always butterflies and rainbows. We’ve all had those moments where it seems like any and all things that can go wrong, go wrong. But let’s take a page out of Britney’s 2007 book, get back up and bounce back to your bad ass self that you know you are.

Things are going to happen, break-ups, fights, disappointments at work, even something as small as forgetting to do something you had to do! Don’t you dare let your setback ruin your comeback. Whatever it is that has got you all out of sorts, let’s handle it and get you back to the strong confident person you know you are. As one of my favorite people told me, “put on your big girl jeggings and handle it.” So let’s do the damn thing:

1. Embrace How You Are Feeling

This is your time to get your emotions out. Get mad, get angry, get ridiculously upset, give yourself five minutes of emotional time. Whatever you are going through or dealing with, really feel it and all the emotions that go with it.

Honestly, get your emotions out. A little cry never hurt anyone and neither did getting really angry about a situation. Think about what happened, really reflect on your feelings, why you feel that way, and what caused it to get to this point. Really bask in the crappiness of what happened to you. We are not in the business of brushing emotions under the rug and forgetting about them. Own it.

Seriously, let every single emotion out. Rant to your friends. Write in your journal. Throw a hissy fit in your room. Don’t punch walls or people, let’s let out our emotions while controlling anger :). Do not hold back. Why is this important? Because embracing your emotions makes you more aware of what is going on. It helps spark a little fire under your butt to do something about it and make change.

Maybe that guy you were talking to ghosted you. That sucks. You really liked him and really thought it could go somewhere. Get mad. How could someone do something like that to you?! Maybe you were expecting a promotion at work and it went to someone else. Be angry, you worked hard every day and produced quality work every single day. Maybe a relationship ended that you didn’t expect to. Losing someone close to you sucks especially when you didn’t want it to happen. Be sad, it’s okay to cry about it.

You know what happens from owning your emotions and really thinking about what’s happened? It sparks action.

2. Identify What the Problem is

You got all the feels out of the way now, so let’s move on and figure out what exactly the problem is.

Confirmed – You know how you feel about what happened to you and it’s not a good feeling. Do not allow yourself to become a Negative Nancy. It’s easy to get lost in your emotions and start thinking that different aspects of your life are falling apart also (when they really aren’t). You might even start to nit-pick yourself and ask questions like “What if I didn’t do this?” or “What if I had done that?” What if questions are deadly, avoid those at all costs.

Let’s use the break-up as the example here. Break-ups suck, if you do the breaking up or get broken up with, there is still a lot of pain and emotions involved. Let’s not go Carrie Underwood in this and start keying the side of trucks.

First ask yourself – How exactly do you feel about what’s happened and why?

“Like trash” has been my go-to for when I feel negative emotions, but that’s not helping yourself. Think about each emotion and why.

Why are you sad? You’re losing one of your best friends are it’s hard to imagine life without them. You weren’t expecting this. You think you hurt someone you deeply care about’s feelings. You already miss the person.
Why are you angry? You can’t believe you poured so much into one relationship to have it fail. Some choice words might have been exchanged and you are heated about it.

Next, ask yourself – Does it make sense that I feel this way?

Let’s be honest with ourselves, sometimes the crisis handling stops here. I am 100% guilty of realizing my emotions are uncalled for and it’s pretty funny to look back and laugh about some things that I let get under my skin. But remember if you neglect to reflect on why you are feeling some sort of way, you might not ever have this realization. Go through each emotion and if you come to the conclusion that all those feels are justifiable, then:

Finally, ask yourself – What is it that is really bothering me?

Maybe you start to come to the conclusion that you are sad because this happened again. Rejection and failure are two pretty hard pills to swallow.

Maybe you understand that some of your actions, or theirs, were just unacceptable and the relationship was unhealthy. Letting go of something, even if it is not right for you, is tough to do.

Use these questions for whatever situation you find yourself in. Understand exactly what it is that is causing you to be upset.

3. Find the Silver Lining

I am such a firm believer that there is a positive that comes out of every crappy situation. Our girl Britney went from shaving her head in an emotional meltdown to releasing the #1 Billboard Album, Circus. She even etched that $30 million dollar Las Vegas residency deal a few years ago! If she could get through 2007, then you can damn right get through today.

As miserable as you may think a situation is, there is also some piece of positivity that can come from it. Change your perspective and realize that not everything is in the shitter. It’s difficult to do when you think everything is going up in flames in one big old dumpster fire around you, but there are so many good things happening that you might not even notice.

Try to come up for 5 things that make you happy, they can be anything! They might have nothing to do with the situation that just happened, but get brainstorming. Once you do this you might have a different perspective looking at the crap setback you have in your life. Look at the situation through a different pair on glasses, and it might open your eyes to seeing some new things.

Plan Your Comeback

Now that you looked through the original problem and can see that it is not as debilitating as it seemed. It’s time to get to action.


So let’s make the damn thing happen.

Pick your head up and get to work. No sulking here. You don’t get time back and the more time you wait the tougher it will be to get a grasp on what’s happened to you. The final few questions you need to ask yourself here are –

What am I going to accomplish?
Is this maintainable and something I can stick to?
How am I going to get this done?

With that I’ll leave you with something to think about. Only you know what you are really feeling and going through, don’t let anyone tell you that you should or should not be having a set of emotions. Because you are in control of how you feel, you are also in control of how you come back!

Remember that you are strong, confident, amazing human who is capable of incredible things. Don’t ever let some person or event take that from you.


I really hope this was helpful for you. I’ve been dealing with my own setback this past week and am starting to feel like I am getting back to being myself. I know I’m a far ways off and know that really getting over something takes time, but now is a great time to start and make the mindset change. – Tina


Want to see more posts like this? Subscribe!

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

Positive Quotes for Tough Times

For Staying Positive During the Global Pandemic…

These past couple weeks have been a struggle for many, myself included. The lay-offs are continuing, the virus has not hit its peak, and summer is slowly but surely getting cancelled. I feel like I’m getting numb to all the bad news that keeps coming out in the news and on social media daily.

I am currently on the job hunt, along with millions of other people and have had little to no luck thus far. The next two concerts I had planned in May and June (1. Sleeping with Sirens and 2. Above & Beyond) were cancelled because of Coronavirus. I was supposed to be at Disney World today and don’t have much hope for my Disney World trip in July. Pretty much every Jeep or Truck Show I was looking forward to has been cancelled.

I know I’m not alone here with the bad vibes, but I also know that so many people have it worse. My bad news is nothing compared to what other people are experiencing. The stories I’ve been hearing about those who have been closely affected by Covid-19 are saddening. It breaks my heart knowing how many people have had their lives derailed in any capacity because of this virus.

The bad news may keep piling on top of more bad news with no end in sight, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how tough the current situation is, it will get better. It’s tough keeping positive when everything around is so negative. I’ve put together some of my favorite positive quotes and mantras that are super applicable to the current state of our world. Remember, the comeback is always better than the setback. Save this post for later, you’ll want to keep these close by when you need a positive quote or two.

Positive Quotes for Tough Times

“When everything seems to be against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford

“Do not lose hope, please believe that there are a thousand beautiful things waiting for you. Sunshine comes to all who feel rain.” – R.M. Drake

“Keep looking up… That’s the secret of life.” – Charlie Brown

Positive Quotes for Tough Times

“Today, I will not stress over things I can not change.” – Unknown

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.” -Helen Keller

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” -Confucius

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” – Christopher Robin

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt

Positive Quotes for Tough Times

“Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.” -Christopher Reeves

“Be the light in the dark, be the calm in the storm and be at peace while at war.” -Mike Dolan

“Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.” -Dalai Lama

“It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.” -Ellen DeGeneres

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” -Oscar Wilde

“The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.” -Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Positive Quotes for Tough Times

“Positive anything is better than negative nothing.” -Elbert Hubbard

“Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.” -Robert Schuller

“You’re going to go through tough times – that’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ See the positive in negative events.” -Joel Osteen

“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.” -Unknown

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

“Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation.” – Michael Jordan

Positive Quotes for Tough Times

“People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong. Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?” -Thich Nhat Hanh

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” -Willie Nelson

“If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges.” -Pat Riley

“Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and hope. A ‘you can do it’ when things are tough.” -Richard M. DeVos

“Tough times don’t last. Tough people do. I preach that, and I guess you have to live to it.” -Julian Edelman

“Once you’ve been through tough times, you can only become stronger.” -Alesha Dixon



Do Something Great. Monday Motivation

Why You Should Never Take a Monday Off

I heard the saying “You should never take a Monday off,” back when I was competitively bodybuilding. It’s safe to say I definitely do not body build anymore #fluffy. Regardless, I did learn quite a few lessons that carried over into many of other aspects of life. Never taking off a Monday might be the best piece of advice I’ve ever been given.

I don’t mean literally taking Monday off from work.

Taking off Monday isn’t about physically not going to work or showing up for your responsibilities that day. It’s about not letting your excuses win.

In bodybuilding, the workouts and diet are extremely strict. Every single day is calculated. One misstep and there goes the entire plan! 16 weeks worth of hard work would be ruined and future plans would be shifted and altered to make up for the time lost. One slip up can cause a severely negative chain reaction.

Coming off the weekend high, it’s difficult to reign back in focus and snap back into the grind. But you can’t allow yourself to fall off track, from whatever it is you are chasing. Just as easily as the chain reaction can be negative, it can also be positive.

If it’s being a bodybuilder, getting a promotion at work, or building a brand, you can’t let your excuses get the best of you and put your progress one day back from where it should be. Keep everything moving upwards and to the right, don’t take a Monday off.

If you skip Monday, you’ll want to skip the rest of the days of the week too.

Monday is typically the first day of the work week and is what drives the mood, or crashes it, for the rest of the week. If you allow yourself to procrastinate and push off what you need to do, chances are you’ll continue to push it off. It’s easier to give up than it is to put in the work and grind.

With bodybuilding, there are times when you can’t move because your body is too tired. The training and workouts are so rigorous and the caloric intake is so low, that there is barely enough energy to do simple tasks.

Common thoughts are, I’ll just sleep in this morning, If I don’t train today I’ll just eat less, One day off won’t kill me. If you sleep in one morning, you’ll want to sleep in the next. If you don’t train today and mess up your meal plan, your nutrition will be off. One day off may actually kill all your progress.

Take a lesson from all the body builders out there, you may not see it right away or notice a difference immediately, but if you skip what you need to be doing there will be side effects. What about if you don’t skip a Monday?

If you can make it through Monday, you can survive the rest of the week

Kick starting the week on a positive note and doing what you set out to do can light your fire to keep it going for the rest of the week. Mondays are typically the speed bump to the week. They’re tough because the weekend can be so fun and you are content with where you are. Being content can be deadly.

Completing a tough workout on Monday, for a bodybuilder, can define your whole week. If you put in the effort and time, it will be returned to you. Knowing you crushed the most difficult part of your week gets you ready to take on the remainder.

Getting over the Monday speed bump can lead to some next level productivity. Proving to yourself that you are stronger than your excuses can keep that momentum and positive energy moving for days to come.

In bodybuilding, one workout can change your whole physique. One more treadmill session can get you that much leaner. You won’t know what could be, unless you do it.

The one workout that you don’t skip and the mile that you ran even though your legs wanted to give out ultimately was the difference between placing in a show and not. Just that thought, knowing you accomplished something that seemed so difficult becomes the light you need to keep working and moving forward.

A positive Monday leads to a positive Tuesday and so on. Giving your best on Monday will make your Tuesday better, which will make your Wednesday better. Get it?

If you didn’t realize it yet your “Monday” can really be anything.

Tackling Monday isn’t just something for bodybuilders. Getting over your excuses and not caving into being mediocre and content can relay to life on so many different levels. Work, Education, Professional Development, Household Chores or Tasks, really anything can be your Monday. When you debate “skipping a Monday” you are asking yourself, “How bad do I really want this?”

Don’t wait another day to start working towards your goal, whatever it is. Wasted time can’t be brought back, so get going on the right foot and do what you set out to do. Whatever effort you put in will get you closer to your goal. Skipping is the only thing that can move you backwards.

You’ll run into days you’re too tired, unmotivated, and lazy. Don’t fall to your excuses. Remember to never skip a Monday.


For weekly motivation, every Monday, and updates on all posts. Subscribe!

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.

Motivation Monday

Happy Monday 🙂 For some Monday motivation in your inbox every week, sign up for our weekly newsletter!

Processing…
Success! You're on the list.