The Ultimate Guide to Emotional Healing

The Ultimate Guide to Understanding the Emotional Healing Process

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Healing is a natural process that our body undergoes to repair and recover from physical, emotional, and mental injuries. Although it is a natural process, it can be a complex and time-consuming journey, and sometimes, we may need a little help to understand it better. In this blog post, we will explore the different aspects of the healing process, including physical, emotional, and mental healing, and provide tips on how to speed up and enhance the process.

We’re going to dive in the Emotional Healing Process. It’s important to remember that no two people’s healing process is a like. There is no timeline. There are no rules. You heal how it is best for you to heal and you go at your own pace, it can be a lengthy process or if can be short lived. Regardless, going through your own healing process after an emotional event is necessary for overcoming and stepping into the next version of yourself.

What is Emotional Healing

Emotional healing refers to the process of overcoming emotional pain and trauma, such as grief, loss, and abuse. Emotional healing can be a long and difficult journey, but it is essential for our overall well-being and happiness.

Emotional Healing can be needed after traumatic events, not limited to :

  • A loss of a loved one
  • A break up, divorce
  • Losing a job
  • Losing a pet
  • Childhood Trauma

Embarking on an emotional healing journey is difficult, but can be one of the most powerful experiences you take part in. The first step of emotional healing is to always…

Understand the Root Cause of Your Emotional Pain

The first step in emotional healing is to understand the root cause of your emotional pain. This could be the result of a traumatic event, such as a death or divorce, or it could be the result of ongoing stress or anxiety. Understanding the root cause of your emotional pain can help you identify patterns and develop coping strategies that can support your healing journey.

It’s important to understand the root cause of the emotional pain. In order to truly heal emotionally you must be able to identify the emotions and where the pain is stemming from. Diving deep into the cause, say a break up – you may be suffering from feeling rejected, or fear of being alone, or even stepping into some waves of depression.

Feel Each Emotion

Emotional healing is a journey that requires facing and processing our emotions. Whether we’re dealing with grief, loss, abuse, or depression, it’s essential to allow ourselves to feel and express our emotions in a healthy and safe way.

Suppressing or avoiding our emotions can prolong our healing process and lead to further emotional distress. Allowing ourselves to feel and express our emotions can help us process and release them, reducing their intensity and helping us to heal. When we face our emotions and work through them, we can better understand our feelings, develop coping strategies, and find closure.

Here are Some Tips for Feeling Emotions Safely and Effectively :

  1. Create a Safe Space – Choose a safe environment where you feel comfortable and free to express your emotions. This could be with a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional.
  2. Practice Self-Compassion – Be kind and gentle with yourself. Remember that your emotions are valid and that healing takes time.
  3. Use Healthy Outlets – Find healthy outlets for your emotions, such as writing in a journal, practicing mindfulness, or engaging in physical activity.
  4. Allow Yourself to Cry – Crying can be a powerful release for pent-up emotions. Don’t be afraid to let yourself cry.
  5. Seek Professional Help – If you’re struggling to process your emotions, consider seeking the help of a mental health professional. They can provide you with coping strategies and support during your healing journey.

Seek Support : From Family, Friends, and Even Professionals

Friends and Family are our rocks when it comes to emotional healing. Whether it be late night phone calls or bum-sessions that take our minds off of what is happening around us. In a time of emotional healing, family and friends can be a backbone that keep us moving forward. Surrounding yourself with people who make you feel supported, strong, and most importantly validate your emotions is imperative during the emotional healing process. There is no better time to embrace and lean on your friends and family. They will always love you and support and be in your corner for however long you need.

Sometimes family and friends can help us come back to our neutral state, but other times it may be best to seek help from a professional. If emotional healing on your own is weighing you down, you can 100% find the support you need from a professional. Accepting help from a professional may seem scary, and sometime you may not even think that is is necessary or that you deserve it. I am here to tell you that receiving support however you need during the emotional healing process is acceptable and deserved.

Here are some reasons why seeking up from a professional while you are healing emotionally can help:

Expertise and Training

Mental health professionals have the expertise and training to help you understand and work through your emotions. They can provide you with coping strategies and support during your healing journey and help you identify underlying issues that may be contributing to your emotional pain.

Neutral and Non-Judgmental Support

Mental health professionals provide a neutral and non-judgmental environment where you can safely express your feelings and emotions. This can be a crucial aspect of the healing process, especially if you have difficulty talking about your emotions with family or friends.

Treatment for Co-Occurring Disorders

If you’re struggling with an underlying mental health condition, such as depression or anxiety, a mental health professional can provide you with an accurate diagnosis and effective treatment to help you manage your symptoms and promote emotional healing.

Personalized Support

Mental health professionals can provide personalized support tailored to your individual needs and circumstances. They can help you develop a treatment plan that addresses your specific goals and needs and provide ongoing support as you work through your emotions.

Short-Term and Long-Term Benefits

Seeking professional help can provide both short-term and long-term benefits. It can help you manage your emotions in the moment and provide you with the tools and support you need to make a full recovery and find lasting peace and happiness.

If you are looking for a some professional support during emotional healing, here are some steps you can take to identify who may be the best person to help. There are specialists for all types of healing, there will absolutely be someone out there to help you too.

  1. Research – Research different types of mental health professionals and their areas of expertise to find one that is right for you.
  2. Ask for Referrals – Ask friends, family, or your primary care doctor for referrals to mental health professionals they trust and recommend.
  3. Check Credentials – Verify the credentials of any mental health professional you’re considering, including their education, training, and licensing.
  4. Schedule a Consultation – Schedule a consultation with a mental health professional to discuss your needs and determine if they’re the right fit for you.

Immerse Yourself in Self Care and Self Love

Once you have experienced your emotions and sought out support, you need to give back to yourself. Whatever space was left from the pain or event needs to be filled and it is important to fill that space you love for yourself! Engage in activities that bring you joy, such as exercise, reading, or spending time with loved ones, and practice self-reflection, such as journaling or meditating, to understand your emotions and identify patterns that may be contributing to your emotional pain.

Self Care is a vital part of the emotional healing journey. It is when we start to get back to our normal routines and feel like ourselves again. Self Care allows us to immerse ourselves in love and spend time doing what you truly want to do.

Here are 8 reasons why Self Care is a needed in the emotional healing process :

Improved Self-Esteem

When you love and accept yourself, your self-esteem improves, and you feel more confident and secure in your own skin.

Better Relationships

Self-love leads to healthier relationships. When you love and accept yourself, you’re less likely to settle for toxic relationships and are better able to establish and maintain healthy, fulfilling relationships with others.

Increased Resilience

When you prioritize your own needs, you become more resilient in the face of stress and challenges. This allows you to bounce back from setbacks and challenges more quickly and effectively.

Better Mental Health

Self-love can improve your mental health by reducing symptoms of anxiety, depression, and stress. When you take care of yourself and treat yourself with kindness and compassion, you’re better able to manage difficult emotions and maintain your mental well-being.

Greater Happiness

Cultivating self-love leads to greater happiness and fulfillment. When you prioritize your own needs and treat yourself with kindness, compassion, and respect, you feel more content and satisfied with life.

Better Physical Health

Self-love is also beneficial for physical health. When you prioritize your own needs and treat your body with care and respect, you’re more likely to engage in healthy habits, such as eating nutritious foods and exercising regularly.

Increased Creativity

Self-love can also increase your creativity. When you prioritize your own needs and allow yourself to relax and recharge, your mind becomes more open, and you become more imaginative and innovative.

Improved Quality of Life

Ultimately, cultivating self-love can improve the overall quality of your life. When you prioritize your own needs and treat yourself with kindness and respect, you become more content, fulfilled, and happy, leading to a more fulfilling life.

This is the time to give back to yourself. The emotional healing process is difficult. There are ups and downs and sometimes you feel like you’re just walking in circles making no progress. This is your friendly reminder that every day forward is progress! Small steps can be big steps. Practicing self care and self love while you are healing emotionally is like giving yourself a giant ‘thank you.’

Setting Healthy Boundaries and Sticking to Them

During this time it’s important to identify what is helping and what is hurting. Do certain aspects of life bring up past feelings and emotions? What do you feel when that happens? And most importantly, how can you make positives changes moving forward to incorporate things that only bring you pure joy and happiness. The idea of self care and reflection are vital to the emotional healing process.

Setting healthy boundaries is essential for emotional healing. This means being honest with yourself and others about what you need and what you are willing to tolerate. This includes protecting your time and energy from people or situations that trigger negative emotions and learning to say “no” when necessary. Throughout the healing process you are learning and growing, implementing this in action is difficult but setting boundaries, especially during this very vulnerable time can be a very positive experience with numerous beneficial outcomes. Setting healthy boundaries can help :

  1. Establish Self-Respect – Setting boundaries helps you to respect your own physical, mental and emotional health.
  2. Increase Self-Confidence – Knowing and communicating your boundaries can increase your confidence and assertiveness.
  3. Promote Healthy Relationships – Clear boundaries can foster healthier and more respectful relationships with others.
  4. Reduce Stress – Setting boundaries can reduce the stress of constantly trying to please others and prioritize your own needs.
  5. Improve Mental Health – Maintaining healthy boundaries can reduce feelings of anxiety, depression and other mental health issues.
  6. Protect Personal Space – Boundaries help to protect your personal space and prevent unwanted intrusions.
  7. Encourage Personal Growth – By setting boundaries, you can focus on your own personal growth and development.
  8. Enhance Self-Care – Establishing boundaries can help you prioritize self-care and ensure you have time for self-reflection and self-improvement.

Establishing boundaries is one piece of the puzzle, but the most important is sticking to them. It may be hard sometimes but taking action and knowing what is best for you and sticking to it is what makes the healing process so difficult. If this means cutting a person out of your life or limiting time investments to social media, maybe it means ensuring you make time to see friends more. Whatever the boundaries are that you set, it’s important to act on them and be unwavering!

Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude

Mindfulness and gratitude are powerful tools that can support emotional healing. Practice mindfulness by paying attention to the present moment and being aware of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment. Practice gratitude by focusing on the positive aspects of your life, such as relationships, experiences, and opportunities, and acknowledging them with gratitude.

A mindfulness tool that I use frequently is called Insight Timer. It is one of my favorite meditation applications that houses an insane amount of meditations. From gratitude practices to grounding and everything in between, you can find it on Insight Timer. There are also courses that outline multiple tracks and courses to help you reach whatever goal you are looking for, in this case emotional healing.

Embracing mindfulness is critical in the emotional healing process. Here are some reasons why mindfulness helps promote inner peace and leaves you feeling full of gratitude from the work you have put in to get to this point.

  1. Reduces Stress and Anxiety – Mindfulness has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety by calming the mind and promoting relaxation. When you practice mindfulness, you focus your attention on the present moment, which helps to reduce worry and stress about the future or regret about the past.
  2. Increases Self-Awareness – Mindfulness helps to increase self-awareness, which is key to emotional healing. When you’re mindful, you’re better able to understand and identify your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and how they impact your life. This allows you to make positive changes and improve your overall well-being.
  3. Improves Emotional Regulation – Mindfulness can also help to regulate your emotions. When you’re mindful, you’re able to understand your emotions, and you’re less likely to react impulsively or be controlled by negative emotions. This allows you to manage difficult emotions in a healthy and constructive way.
  4. Promotes Mind-Body Connection – Mindfulness also promotes a mind-body connection, which is critical in emotional healing. When you’re mindful, you become more aware of your physical sensations and emotions, and you’re better able to understand how they’re interconnected. This allows you to use physical sensations, such as breathing and grounding techniques, to manage difficult emotions.
  5. Enhances Self-Compassion – Mindfulness can help to enhance self-compassion, which is essential in emotional healing. When you’re mindful, you become more compassionate and understanding towards yourself, and you’re less likely to judge or criticize yourself. This allows you to treat yourself with kindness and respect, which is essential for emotional well-being.

Wherever you are in your healing journey, I am sending you good vibes! The beauty of healing emotionally allows us to enter into new versions of ourselves. Coming out healed gives us a new sense of power and freedom, even a confidence that we are capable of anything. There is no better feeling than thinking of something that once caused you so much pain, and feeling ok about it and seeing all the outcomes of the event that caused you to grow and become a better version on yourself.

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Good New Years Resolutions

Looking for Good New Years Resolutions? Look No Further.

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New Years Resolutions, you either love them or hate them. If you’re here look for good New Yers resolutions then you are clearly loving them. New Years Resolutions are great tools because they help us create an annual goal.

Whether it’s sticking to a plan or trying something new, New Years Resolutions give us an opportunity to work towards something that we’ve always wanted.

You’re probably wondering, what makes a good New Years resolution?

A good New Years Resolution combines a few things :

  1. It’s actionable
  2. It’s something you truly want to accomplish
  3. It is realistic (to an extent)

You need to make sure you are able to accomplish your New Years resolution by making it actionable. How are you going to make this resolution become reality? Then it must be something that you truly want to accomplish. If you’re just piggy-backing off of someone else’s resolution, chances are you aren’t invested in it and aren’t going to give it 100%. And lastly it must be realistic – I’m not saying don’t push yourself but don’t make your resolution “I’m going to be a 35-unit rental property” when you’re 16 and have no source on income. Make sense?

20 Good New Years Resolutions

  1. Practice mindfulness – meditate daily
  2. Stop drinking alcohol at home after work and only drink alcohol on one of the weekend days
  3. Cook one new home-cooked meal every week
  4. Save at least $6,000 towards the down payment on a house
  5. Learn a new language
  6. Go to the gym at least 3x a week
  7. Stay active by walking a minimum of 10,000 steps a day
  8. Create a side hustle and work towards making it profitable
  9. Make weekly time to hang out with friends
  10. Visit a new place once every month
  11. Limit phone screen time and mindless time on social media
  12. Start each day with a compliment to yourself
  13. Pick up a new hobby
  14. Learn how to knit ( or crochet, or work with resin, or any creative outlet )
  15. Write in a daily gratitude journal
  16. Read for at least 30 minutes per day
  17. Will not let work interfere with personal life
  18. Stick to a new diet for 1 year
  19. Visit a foreign country that you’ve never been too
  20. Save money monthly to reach my annual goal

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Powerful Affirmations for Abundance

30 Powerful Affirmations for Attracting Abundance into Your Life

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Everything you desire is within your reach. By using daily mantras or affirmations, you allows your thoughts to power your actions.

In order to achieve your dream life you have to put in effort. That involves convincing yourself first that you are capable and willing of having all of your desires.

Affirmations for manifesting are a great tool to use to keep your mindset right and keep positive energy flowing in your direction.

Manifesting your dream life could mean many different things. It really should be different for every person. Whether you are looking to bring in financial success or maybe a new romantic relationship, you are worthy of the changes that you wish to make! These 30 positive affirmations are designed to bring abundance into your life.

Whether you are looking to attract more money into your life or success at work, these abundance affirmations can be used to help manifest financial success into your life.

Try out these 30 affirmations for manifesting that are sure to help align your thoughts with your actions so you can create the life that you have always dreamed of.

30 Powerful Affirmations for Attracting Abundance into Your Life

  • Money flows to me effortlessly.
  • I am a magnet for abundance.
  • I do not stress over finances.
  • I have a positive relationship with money.
  • I am open to exploring new opportunities for work.
  • My positive energy attracts abundance. I welcome it into my life.
  • I am always provided for.
  • My talents and skills are valuable.
  • I release all my negative thoughts around money.
  • My dream home is the exact way I have always imagined it would be.
  • I am healthy, wealthy, and happy.
  • I am a magnet for positivity, money, and abundance.
  • I have the power to posses financial freedom.
  • Abundance comes to be in all ways.
  • The universe provides me with many ways to make an income.
  • I am comfortable being wealthy. I embrace my new lifestyle with positivity.
  • I attract abundance and high-vibrational experiences.
  • My dreams have come true and I live every day in abundance.
  • Money is always there when I need it.
  • I live abundantly with the love of my life.
  • Endless prosperity flows to and through me.
  • I am open to receiving abundant amounts of love.
  • I attract limitless miracles.
  • I attract prosperity easily and effortlessly to me.
  • I attract love easily and effortlessly to me.
  • I am amazing and open to receiving all the blessings the universe has in store for me.
  • My grateful heart is a magnet for abundance in my life.
  • I have more than enough money to do all the things that I want to do.
  • I am thankful for the abundance that I have, I naturally attract more.
  • I am worthy of love in abundance.

Journaling Your Affirmations

Affirmations can be spoken, written, or both! I personally enjoy writing down my affirmations multiple times every morning. Not only are I speaking them to myself, but I am writing them on paper. Having a journal that speaks to you and motivates you to pick it up and write is something that can evolve your practice with affirmations. Writing down all that you are grateful for before you write down your affirmations is a great way to raise your vibration and be in a positive mindset. This is so powerful when using affirmations! I’ve curated a list of you great journals that I hope can inspire you to start journaling with your affirmations.

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30 Affirmations for Manifesting Your Dream Life

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Everything you desire is within your reach. By using daily mantras or affirmations, you allows your thoughts to power your actions.

In order to achieve your dream life you have to put in effort. That involves convincing yourself first that you are capable and willing of having all of your desires.

Affirmations for manifesting are a great tool to use to keep your mindset right and keep positive energy flowing in your direction.

Manifesting your dream life could mean many different things. It really should be different for every person. Whether you are looking to bring in financial success or maybe a new romantic relationship, you are worthy of the changes that you wish to make!

No matter what your dream life may be, try out these 30 affirmations for manifesting that are sure to help align your thoughts with your actions so you can create the life that you have always dreamed of.

30 Affirmations for Manifesting Your Dream Life

  • The universe has big plans for me and I claim all that is for me. My dream life is within my reach.
  • I am a magnet for abundance, love, and happiness.
  • I operate at a higher frequency and attract like-minded individuals into my life.
  • I am not afraid to release all that no longer serves me. I am making room for new blessings from the universe.
  • Everyday I choose happiness, I choose love, I choose positivity.
  • I am strong enough to change my life and go in the direction of my dreams.
  • All that I desire is coming to me.
  • I do not chase, I attract. What is meant for me will come to me.
  • I live in a state of happiness and abundance. I exist on a higher vibration.
  • My energy attracts what is meant for me. I am a magnet for love and abundance.
  • I attract success. I attract money. I attract opportunities.
  • Good things are coming my way.
  • Everything will be as it should for my higher good.
  • Money flows to me quickly and effortlessly.
  • Love flows to me quickly and effortlessly.
  • I am creating the life of my dreams.
  • The universe gives me what I need, when I need it.
  • I deserve all good things. I will achieve my dreams and reach my goals.
  • My life is overflowing with new possibilities and opportunities.
  • I am the most successful I have every been. I am overjoyed with each new opportunity that is presented to me.
  • I am accepting of love and capable of giving love.
  • My happiness is not affected by others. I am in complete control my emotions and my actions.
  • I release all negativity energy surrounding my past relationships.
  • I have a healthy relationship with money.
  • I am at peace with my body, mind, and soul.
  • I am so happy and grateful that my biggest dreams are becoming reality.
  • Every morning I wake up confident and refreshed and ready to take on the new day.
  • The positive energy from within my body radiates to all those around me. It attracts everything that is meant for me.
  • I am grateful for each new opportunity in my life. The universe blesses me with the right things at the right time.
  • I am thankful for all the lessons I have learned that have allowed me to grow to this new version of myself.

Journaling Your Affirmations

Affirmations can be spoken, written, or both! I personally enjoy writing down my affirmations multiple times every morning. Not only are I speaking them to myself, but I am writing them on paper. Having a journal that speaks to you and motivates you to pick it up and write is something that can evolve your practice with affirmations. Writing down all that you are grateful for before you write down your affirmations is a great way to raise your vibration and be in a positive mindset. This is so powerful when using affirmations! I’ve curated a list of you great journals that I hope can inspire you to start journaling with your affirmations.

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4 Things to Look Forward to in 2023

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2023 is right around the corner! A New Year is here yet again. Every year they seem to arrive quicker than the last. 2022 was a tough year for many. The continuous layoffs, looming economic recession, and lingering effects from COVID have become normal throughout the last 12 months. With 2023 approaching, it’s time to start looking ahead into the new year and getting excited for whats to come. Here are 4 things to look forward to in 2023.

1. A Fresh Start

A New Year always marks a total new start. Head into 2023 refreshed, feeling ready to go get after whatever you are hoping to accomplish. This fresh start lets you leave what you need to leave in the past. Whether it is people, places, or things that you have outgrown, leave them where they belong, in the past. Heading into a new year with a clear mind means there is space to take in new thoughts. Creating space for new things means creating space for new opportunities.

2. New Adventures

The things that await you in a New Year are beyond exciting. Plans you have made. Plans you are hoping to make. There’s so many bright things ahead of you, many that you don’t even know about yet. Looking forward to the new adventures in front of you means having a positive mindset knowing what is going to happen in the next year is exactly what is meant to happen for you. You may go down roads that you aren’t anticipating and it may seem scary, but at the end of the day the new adventure that you embark on is going to lead you to where you need to go.

3. Dream Chasing

Buckle up in 2023, it’s time to reach all your goals. Use the New Year to power you forward to chase your dreams. Even if it is just one step, that is one more step than you took last year. Let 2023 be your spring board to propel you in the direction you want to go. Look forward to all the amazing things that are going to come your way, especially that ones you create for yourself.

4. Lessons to be Learned

Not everything can be sunshine and rainbows and I’m sure 2023 will have it’s fair share of trials and tribulations. Looking forward to the challenges is something you should look forward to in 2023. Every challenge you face, roadblock you stumble upon, or wall you need to climb over is your chance to grow and learn. Every lesson you learn will help you further down the way. Don’t get caught up in what’s wrong around you instead look forward to the lessons and how they will change your life for the better.

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An Elder Millennial’s Reflections on 2022

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Like every other person on the planet, for me the end of a year marks a perfect time to look back on the good, the bad, and the ugly of the past 365 days. Some days are tough to look back on while others play on repeat as highlights. Regardless of what happened over the past year it’s great to reflect back on what happened, how it happened, and why it happened. That way in the new year you can make sure the good stays and you help invite the bad to leave.

Whether it’s in a blog, a journal, a vlog, or anywhere, writing down your reflections and thoughts on the past 12 months is a great exercise to encourage self-growth. Acknowledging what worked and what didn’t, where you want to double down on a time investment, what’s taking up too much or your energy, are all things that can help dictate your New Year to help you create the best year yet.

As I sit back and begin my reflection on the past 12 Months, I can’t help but look back even further. Truly deep down, the past 2 years have been a driving force in my 2022, and I credit the lows in my life for driving such a year of abundance and self-awareness.

Let’s Look Back at 2020…

I was living what I thought was a high point – It was COVID-times, I left my life in Boston to come back to Long Island. I was dating someone I truly and deeply cared about. I got a new job where I was able to explore a new skill set while continuing to master and further grow my Sales skills. I bought my dream car. I was on cloud nine, until every bit of that came falling down. It was like watching dominos fall, one by one getting knocked down and ultimately leading to a disastrous mess that takes 100x longer to rebuild than it did to break it down.

2020 taught me that I was strong. 2020 taught me that I would no longer settle for anything mediocre and that I deserved the best in every aspect of my life.

Let’s Look Back at 2021…

I was an emotionless shell of a human. I was still trying to process what happened in 2020 and how it got to be that way. My dream car was totaled. I tried to fill voids with people without giving myself a chance to heal. I started taking action on what really moved me. I removed things and people from my life that were taking my energy. I started to really focus on my meditation practice. I slowly got out of my funk and adopted a much more active lifestyle. I lost a decent chunk of weight. I got a new job back in the tech space that combined everything I am passionate about.

2021 taught me to feel all the emotions I was feeling. 2021 taught me to take action on what I wanted my life and it’s ok to let people go.

Now Let’s Look at 2022…

2020 and 2021 were two pivotal years in my life. I understand the some people’s timelines are different, sometimes it takes a few weeks other times it takes 10 years. For me, almost 2 years of dark days and sour emotions was enough to start climbing out of the dark hole I fell into. So enough about the looking back – let’s get into why you’re here – An Elder Millennial’s Reflections on 2022.

An Elder Millennial’s Reflections on 2022

1. Prioritizing Time for Yourself is Not a Bad Thing.

I’ve truly learned to enjoy spending time by myself – so much that I have to constantly remind myself to hang out with my friends. I found a new friendship with myself this past year that I’ve wanted for a really long time. 2022, being a fully remote employee and having to curate my entire day, having to build out a schedule that doesn’t revolve around commuting, was tough at first but it forced me to prioritize myself over most other things. Am I eating the best food? Am I getting enough exercise in every day? Am I happy? I was able to evaluate all of these things and am really proud about how I am ending the year. Feeling great about myself, my job, my relationship, and just my life in general.

2. Moving to a New Place Was One of the BEST Things for Me.

Maybe it’s because I hate being stagnant, but moving to Long Beach (read about it here) really kickstarted the positive events in my life. I had thought of moving to Long Beach since I moved back from Boston, it was always on my radar since I began playing beach volleyball there in 2016. I would drive back to Long Island from Boston to play in weekend tournaments and instantly fell in love with the town. Moving to Long Beach was the catalyst behind me taking back control of my life. I explored moving to New York City, but it just didn’t feel right and I am so grateful that I trusted my gut on this one.

Long Beach forced me to get out of my shell. I met tons of people. Some that didn’t last and others that are now key friends in my life that I couldn’t go a day without talking to. I was able to double down on what I loved and naturally fell into an active lifestyle. Moving to a new place is what really showed me that I am 100% in control on my life and can create whatever reality I am imagining.

3. Continually Evaluate What Drains Your Energy is Needed for Personal Growth.

Sometimes commitments, friendships, passions turn into energy drainers. Energy Drainers are things or people that cause you to feel drained – if you are coming back from an engagement and you are physically exhausted and can’t imagine having to interact with anyone, chances are you had your energy drained. Identifying what takes your energy and what recharges it is important. You shouldn’t cut out everything that drains you, but you should evaluate it to understand how you should handle situations and how you can remedy draining tasks by shortly after engaging in a recharging setting. Life’s about balance, but you have to be able to define the difference between what you are balancing before you can have a healthy balance.

2022 served a year to evaluate lots – there are many things that once brought me joy, that were recharging my energy and giving me a sense of purpose that not seem to take more than the give. Finding a balance and then continually evaluating it is needed because change is inevitable. What once was great for you, might not work anymore and even the other way around! Something that drained you might actually turn into something you need in your life.

4. Other People’s Opinions Do Not Matter.

It took you to 31 to figure this out, Tina? No, but also kinda Yes. Have I always known that opinions of other’s don’t matter? Yes. Did I still let opinions of other’s get under my skin and affect how I live my life? Yes. I also looked for validation from others – significant others, friends, family members, strangers even – and that is no way to live. Constantly under the scrutiny of what you think matters to other people. Spending time with myself helped me see that the only people I need to impress is myself.

The moment, and it took some time, that this finally clicked, I genuinely became a new person. I started doing things for myself and not for anyone else – I stopped trying to impress others and all these amazing things came into my life – people, new hobbies, new business ventures, the list goes on.

5. The Universe Brings You What You Need When You Need It and It Takes Away What’s Not Meant for You.

2020 and 2021 were years of loss. So much loss that I didn’t even know who I was anymore. 2022 showed me how to fill those gaps in my life. It brought me purpose and passion. It brought me new income streams and a great investment mindset to take into 2023. It took away toxic people that I once thought were pillars in my life, and brought me a person that I couldn’t imagine ever being without. 2022 was a year that really painted the entire picture for me. When things get bad, they may get worse but that’s ok because at the end of the day they will get better. If I could tell myself in January 2021 what I know now, I would of had a very different year. 2022 will always be the year where I learned that I am in complete control of my life, success and failures, highs and lows, and everything in between.

6. There’s A Lot of Division and Hate in the World and That Needs to Change.

2022 seems to be a peak in the divide between people in our country. I try not to get political on this blog and this is not meant to be a political statement, more an observation. It is very said to see the hate spread between our country – the way the media bends stories and narratives to grow the divide even further. The comfort that people have to spew hate on social media or create fake news, while hiding behind a screen is not only cowardly but only deepening the divide. Looking back at 2022 and heading into 2023, I hope that we can all acknowledge the negativity that is around us and act to make a change. If it standing up for what needs to be said or confronting those who have put their blinders on the being open to different ideas, any positive action can make a change that is so necessary.

This is the first year in 3 years where I can say that I am heading into the New Year on the right foot. The old me would have been scared to admit that, I’d try to find something wrong to hone in on. Not anymore. I am healthy, I am in the best financial standings I have every been, I am in a healthy relationship, and I am building things (like this blog and some other amazing ventures that I can’t wait to share) that I am so passionate and proud of. The future is really bright. I am excited for what is to come – whether it’s continued positivity or a speed bump that comes up in my path, I know at the end of the day the Universe has my back. 2023 is going to be a good one!

Heading into 2023 in a few short weeks, I wish everyone the healthiest and happiest New Year yet! If you are on a high, I hope that continues and that the positivity and high vibrations continue to flow into your life. If you are starting off 2023 in a rut, I am sending all the good energy your way and hope you enjoy this time because I can tell you from personal experience you cannot truly feel the highs if you have not experienced an extreme low.

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Unique New Years Resolution Ideas for 2023

Unique New Years Resolution Ideas for 2023

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Every year there’s an ungodly number of people who say they are going to “get back to the gym” for the New Years Resolution. So much so, that gyms heavily market this time of year to potential new members because it is such an opportunity to gain business! Business that means money in their pockets and no gym use, resolutions are known to only last 1 month, if that, in the gym!

Part of coming up with a New Years Resolution that sticks and is successful, is putting in effort to be creative and make one that fits exactly what you are looking for. The generic “get back to the gym” doesn’t really motivate you to actually get to the gym… Let’s break down some common New Years Resolutions into some more actionable Resolutions that may help you stick to your goals in 2023.

Unique New Years Resolution Ideas for 2023

Instead of Get Back to The Gym Try…

  1. Train at the gym 3x a week in January, and work up to 5x a week by March
  2. Add Cardio workouts at the end of every weight training workout
  3. Start every Monday morning with a workout regardless of how I am feeling
  4. Earn the Wellness Reimbursement from work by attending the gym 12x a month
  5. Learn proper form for squats and deadlifts
  6. Add weight training to my workout
  7. Try one new workout class every month

Instead of Be Better With My Money Try…

  1. Save $100 per work in a savings account
  2. I will max out my 401k this year
  3. Not spend more than $XXX on clothing in a month
  4. Pay all credit cards off in full every month
  5. Pay off my car loan by December
  6. Save $ XX,XXX this year for a downpayment on a house
  7. Limit spending by dining out once per week and going to the bar once a weekend
  8. When paying in cash, whenever a $5 is received in change, save it do not spend it.

Instead of Be Healthier Try…

  1. Will commit to ________ diet for the entire year
  2. Moving my body more by walking 10,000 steps per day
  3. Incorporating vegetables or fruit with every meal
  4. Drink 1 gallon of water every day
  5. Limit junk food and soda
  6. Cut or Limit alcohol consumption
  7. Commit to 8+ hours of sleep every night

Instead of Practice Mindfulness Try…

  1. Meditate for 10 minutes every day
  2. Attend a yoga class every week
  3. Begin a daily gratitude journal and stick to it for the entire year
  4. Will remove myself from situations that overwhelm me before they get out of control

Instead of Being More Organized Try…

  1. Keeping up with laundry and putting away immediate after it comes out of the dryer
  2. Vacuum every morning
  3. Clean bedroom weekly and make sure everything has a place
  4. Organize your car and not leaving things in the back seat or trunk

Instead of Be More Social Try…

  1. I will go out to dinner with friends once a week
  2. I will host a wine night with my friends once a month
  3. I will try to go on 3 dates a month
  4. Commit to trying 1 new restaurant every month
  5. Have at least 1 conversation with a stranger every day
  6. Compliment a different person you see every day
  7. Suggest plans to your friend group monthly
  8. Every Friday I will go to the local Starbucks to work in public

Giving yourself a clear goal and action item as a New Years Resolution is much more motivating than just a general blanket statement. You can even mix and match ideas to create the ultimate New Years Resolution that is perfect for you. For example you want to be healthier, workout more, and by more social – You could try “I will go to the gym 3x a week and add 15 minutes of cardio to every workout. I will have 1 conversation with a stranger at the gym every time I go. I will not let my new workout schedule effect my 8 hour per night sleep routine.” That’s a pretty powerful sentiment if you ask me!

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Planning for Successful New Years Resolutions in December

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New Years Resolutions are either loved or hated. There is no happy medium when it comes to setting them. Either you love New Years Resolutions and can’t wait to pick your goals for the New Year or you want absolutely nothing to do with them and have no desire to even think about them. There’s a stigma around New Years Resolutions that they don’t work, even if you are all about your resolution that you are doomed to fail at some point. When I worked in a gym we called them “Resolutioners” and they were the gyms best costumers. They’d sign up for a year contract on January 1 and only come for a week! So whats the trick to really making New Years Resolutions work for you? How can you become the people that love them and swear by them every year?

You Need to Have a Thoughtful New Years Resolution That Motivates You.

A lot of the reason what New Years Resolutions are doomed to fail from the start is that they are last minute decisions or piggy-backed resolutions off of what friends or family may be focusing on for the New Year. When in reality, you haven’t taken the chance to really sit down with yourself and understand what you really want to accomplish and set out to do in the New Year. Instead you’re just going to “lose weight” or “find a new job,” maybe even “put myself out there more.” These broad and generic New Years Resolutions are not actionable, they aren’t motivating, and how you accomplish them/when you are accomplished is up for so much interpretation.

New Years Resolutions shouldn’t be last minute wishes or spontaneous thoughts on January 1. If you truly want to stick to your New Yers Resolution and set out to have an amazing New Year where you continue to reach you goals and grow, then you need to truly plan your New Years Resolutions. And there is really no better month than December to kickstart your New Years Resolution Planning!

Why You Should Plan New Years Resolutions in December

You Need to Reflect on the Past Year to Understand What You Want to Change.

Look back at the last 11 months of your life, what did you like? what did you not like? Did anything change over the past year that you don’t like? Identifying what is working in your life and what isn’t working in your life are key to New Years Resolution planning. When you have a solid understanding of how you are going to take you life into the New Year, you can clearly identify things that will supplement your current lifestyle. You also will be able to know how much time you have available to dedicate to a Resolution – that can help you determine of time-intensive of a Resolution is truly possible for you.

Reflecting on the past year not only lets you identify gaps and places for improvement, but it also can help you plan a New Years Resolution that you are more likely to keep and stick to throughout the entire New Year. Before you really start diving into the New Year and adding things to your plate, you have to be clear on what you current life looks like – what you want to remove, what you want to add, and how much time you have to invest. December is a great time to revisit this because it marks the end of a cycle for you to look back on.

Your New Years Resolution Needs to be Clear, Not Broad, and That Takes Time to Figure Out.

This was loosely mentioned in the intro to this post, but it’s so important it needs a little more detail. Part of having a successful New Years Resolution means clearly defining what your goal is. A lot of people will say “I’m going to get back to the gym for my New Years Resolution.” That’s great but why are you doing that? Are you planning on running a marathon next year? Do you want to get your body in check for a vacation you have planned? Do you have some extra weight that you want to lose? There’s even more reasons why someone would want to make getting back to the gym their New Years Resolution.

Once you identify what you want your Resolution to be on a broad level, you need to dig into why. This might take some time which is why you need to start planning New Years Resolutions in December! If you want to learn how to cook and become a better chef, maybe that’s because you really want to have more family dinners in the New Year and spend more time with those closet to you. If you are hoping to learn a new skill or hobby in the New Year, maybe it’s because you had a lot of free time of your hands last year and you want to limit the amount of down time or screen time you had last year. Understanding the true reason behind your resolution is one way to make your resolution be successful.

In Order to Have a Successful New Years Resolution, You Have to Have a Clear Plan to Success.

Going into January all willy nilly and going with the flow, is not necessarily the best way to attack a New Years Resolution. Not having a plan means there’s room for excuses to pop up and for priorities to change. The benefits of planning your New Years Resolution in December means you have time to plan our a clear Action Plan that will work for you. Sometimes we get really excited about New Years Resolutions and reaching our goals that we bite off more than we can chew the first week of January. If you take this approach, burnout is likely (not always so if you are a fully commit jump in head first kinda person, don’t stop doing that!). Too much change too quick might not be a sustainable approach.

Once you have an idea of what you want your goal for the New Year to be, start thinking about what it you take to get there. Let’s take the most common New Years Resolution for an example. If you want to lose X-amount of weight in the New Year and you haven’t been to a gym in a year, it’s probably not the best idea i say your going to go to the gym for 2 hours a day every day. It can seem overwhelming and unattainable. Instead map out when you could fit a workout in with you schedule – is it before work? after work? during lunch? on the weekends? Then build out a phased roll out – Week 1-2 = 3, 30 minute workouts a week, Week 3-4 = 3, 1 hour workouts a week, Week 5-6 = 3, 1 hour workouts and 2, 30 minute workouts a week. Using December to plan out your Resolution means you have a clear plan to success the moment January 1 begins!

It Builds Excitement and Anticipation for the New Year

Starting planning for New Years Resolutions in December is the ultimate way to build hype. It gets your wheels turning. You clearly have defined your why. You have your action plan and know what your first step is going to be. You are ready to go get after it in the New Year! Taking all these steps in December is key to having a successful New Years Resolution in January and beyond. You’re probably itching to start – and you might even just get started in December! A key reason why some Resolutions are doomed from the start is that they seem impossible and there is a cloud of resentment over them. Use December as a planning month to help eliminate the negative energy and stigma around New Years Resolutions.

Now it’s time to get planning and start getting those New Years Resolutions set up for success!

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5 Ways to Set Boundaries With Your Family During the Holidays

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The holidays can be seen as a very exciting time filled with joy and happiness. There’s a certain lightness in the air that can only be felt during the month of December. The idea of getting together with family, friends, and loved ones comes as an exciting thought. You can’t wait to spend all day and night with your family.

That is not always the case. The holidays can actually be a time that can be very stressful and make people feel incredibly uneasy. All families are different, all dynamics are different, and even though the holiday time is widely assumed to be a very joyous time, for some it is not. Learning to balance relationships during the holidays and setting boundaries for expectations is key to having a great Holiday Gathering. Whether the idea of getting together with family seems daunting or if you are anxious anticipating certain conversations, the idea of setting boundaries with your family and friends can help keep this holiday time as magical as it appears in Christmas movies!

Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Up

If you are at dinner and a conversation arises – let’s say politics – that you do not want to be a part of or you know historically what happens during these conversations (whether it involves you or two other people at the table), just know that it is 100% acceptable to say “let’s not talk about this right now.” Instead of letting things get carried away and not speaking up, taking a stand as a friendly reminder that we want this day to be pleasant and enjoyable for everyone is a way to keep people in their respective places.

For conversations that you would rather not hear about, it is totally acceptable to reach out to the host to let them know you are not comfortable talking about certain topics. For example, you recently went through a breakup and know one of you Aunts will be on your case about not being in a relationship or married at this point. Telling the host means that someone is on your side. If they hear this conversation being brought up, they can simply chime in on your behalf and say “I don’t think this is an appropriate conversation to be having.”

Set a Time Limit for the Visit

The idea of spending 4 or 5 hours with a group of people that cause you anxiety is never an easy thought. Leading up to the event, you can set a boundary by saying you are only able to attend for 2 hours and will be visiting during a specific time period. That way you are not missing out but you are giving yourself a time limit and a clear out to exit the situation if needed.

Setting a time limit as a boundary is a great way to control your controllables in a situation. Having the peace of mind knowing that you are only entering an unwanted situation for a short period of time can actually end up being a factor in maybe enjoying yourself a bit more at the holiday event.

Excuse Yourself if Needed

If something is happening that is making you uncomfortable, a conversation, a family members drinking, activities that people may be doing, whatever it is it is ok to excuse yourself. During holiday gatherings with families, unexpected things can happen. Maybe someone you weren’t expecting to take part shows up or a conversations escalates even after trying to silence it. You can remove yourself from the situation.

Whether it is going to a separate room, engaging with others, or even going to the bathroom to isolate for a bit, leaving an uncomfortable situation is a way to create a boundary during the holidays. Once you remove yourself from whatever the situation was that was not sitting right, you can then move forward with a plan of action. Do I want to stay? Am I able to avoid this person and the conversation? Is there a good time where I can quietly leave? How can I address this with the host? Figuring out what you want to do is easier when you are not directly in the hectic situation, sometimes staying in an unwanted place can lead to impulse decisions with not much thought behind them.

Removing yourself can help you see a clear picture of what is going on but it also can set a precedent that the situation is no okay to others involved. Setting a boundary by leaving a situation not only helps you but can create a boundary that was not previously discussed.

Hold Your Ground & Prepare for Pushback from Family

It can be difficult setting boundaries with family because some family members feel that everything should be fair game. We’re all family right?! You might receive pushback for boundaries that are set in regards to conversation topics and even guests who are invited. It’s important to prepare for pushback but to also hold you ground to make it clear that you will be leaving or maybe even not attending if certain things take place during the holiday gathering. Part of setting boundaries is being firm with your wants and needs so others know that they should be respectful.

Prepare What You Will Say if You Need to Set a Boundary in the Moment

We can try to be proactive, but not all boundaries can be set before a holiday gathering. Be prepared with what you might say if something happens that you don’t want to take part in. Or if a conversation with you as the topic pops up. Or if a conversation happens that is bound to end in a fight erupts. Having a game plan for in the moment situations can help set boundaries with family on the fly.

At the end of the day the goal is to enjoy the holidays the best way possible. This can be with friend, family, both, neither, coworkers, or even alone! Setting boundaries is a way to keep your peace during a likely stressful time of year and events. I hope everyone has an amazing holiday season!

The Best Last Minute Gifts | Holiday Gift Guide 2020

Alright, I get it. Not everyone gets their holiday shopping done in August… Trust me, I know. I used to be the person who went out on December 23rd to buy gifts that were to be opened on Christmas Eve. Note : I am a recovered procrastinator, I’ve managed to finish all my Christmas shopping…

by theteenafey

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5 Ways to Create Your Own Happiness

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I’ve been on my own Self-Love journey for over a year and a half now. It took falling into a dark place and having to crawl out of it. I ended up putting so much faith in others and in their opinions of me that is left me feeling like nothing but a hollow shell. It was dark. I am so happy to no longer be there, but I know that this is something that happens to people all the time.

Fighting off negativity and really stepping into your own power can be very very difficult to do, and can seem impossible at times. When you find yourself relying too much on others for your own happiness and value their opinions of you over your own, you are setting yourself up for failure. In the end of the day, you are the only one who truly cares about you. You create your own life. You forge your own path. You make your own decisions. You create your own happiness.

If you are fighting through a dark period or struggling to see the goodness around you, it’s time to dig deep and create your own happiness. The idea that an object or another person controls your happiness is insane! You and you alone are fully in charge of your emotions. If you are feeling down, here are 5 easy ways to create your own happiness.

Start a Gratitude Journal

Journaling is a great act of self love. It is also a top notch creative outlet for a few reasons :

  1. You can journal however you like! – Bullet, Narratives, Drawings
  2. Sometimes it’s easier to express yourself through words on paper than it is to speak. You can let your creativity flow out on the paper.
  3. Rarely is there time to start big art projects or crafts, journalling is a quick practice every day that keeps your mind active

The benefit of a Gratitude Journal when it comes to creating your own happiness, is that you are creating a daily/weekly/monthly (whatever your cadence is) documentation of everything you are grateful for. This not only helps you acknowledge all the amazing things you do every day that make you happy in the moment but can also serve as a friendly reminder in the future. If you ever feel yourself dealing with negative emotions or feeling stuck, scoop up that gratitude journal and read through some of your past entries.

Sometimes creating happiness is difficult, but using your gratitude journal to stir up positive emotions is a great way to keep happiness in your life even when you feel like there is none to be found. The truth is you can create happiness anywhere in any situation, your gratitude journal can help you find that and document it to come back to. It’s guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.

Take Control of Your Controllables

A lot of time when we feel stuck, lost, or anxious, we are worrying about things that are out of our control. Is the weather going to hold off for the big party we have planned? What if I lose me job during the mass lay-offs? Am I nervous to hang out in a public setting with friends. What if they make fun of me? – Any and more of these questions may have come through your mind at some point in your life. The common denominator here is that we are worrying about things that we have no control over. When you begin to stress and get lost in thoughts around things that you yourself are not in the driver seat for, there is no way to fix them only worry and stress until it is over. Happiness runs away because you are so consumed about others and about things that could or might happen that you forget to look inward about what you can control.

You can control your emotions, your thoughts, how you spend your time, and who your interact with. Changing those stressful uncontrolled questions from before to positive controlled statements can really bring about a bit of much needed positive energy. “I am so excited to celebrate with my family and friend regardless of the weather.” “I will proactively work on my resume and search job boards so I am prepared if I do fall victim to a mass layoff.” “I will go out with my friends but if I feel uncomfortable I will leave.” “I will not interact with people who do not support me and bring me down.” See how quickly those situations changed by revisiting them and controlling what you can control out of the situation?

Obviously some situations are fully out of your control but the beauty of controlling your controllables is that in the end you know you did everything you could to manage a potentially not-so-great situation. In turn you are preserving your happiness and keeping all the good energy and vibes flowing, opposed to letting all the negative energy sit stagnant in your body.

Find What Moves You

Sometimes we find ourselves in cyclical patterns, continuously doing the same things, going through the same motions, over and over and over again. This pattern can lead to stagnancy and a sense that there is no growth and no where to go except for doing the same thing endlessly. That is not true.

If you find yourself in this pattern, it’s important to reflect and find out what truly moves you. Ask yourself – What makes you excited to wake up in the morning? What is something you will drop everything planned to do? What brings a smile to your face every time you think about it? What thoughts keep you going when things get tough? All these questions can help you find out what you desire most to do with your time.

Creating your own happiness means creating a life that you. That can start with one small change that erupts into a total lifestyle shift, but the key is it starts with the one small change. Finding what moves you and finding ways to incorporate it into your every day life, even in the smallest capacity, can help create happiness to an extent that you couldn’t even imagine.

Acknowledge What Doesn’t Move You

Part of creating our own happiness is removing what doesn’t make us happy. Seems pretty obvious right?

Sometimes it’s harder to realize things that don’t move us because it may be things that we don’t want to let go. This could be a close friend who may have turned toxic, a romantic partner who is no longer pulling their weight in the relationships, or even a job that drains your energy. Just as one positive change can kick start a waterfall of positivity, keeping one negative element in your life can make things fall down a black hole.

Acknowledging what truly is holding you back is the first step. But releasing that back to the universe creates so much space if your life that you can fill with things that do move you. Instead of getting stuck on one piece of your life that may be bringing you all sorts of anxious thoughts and negativity, look to the positives. It may be tough to let go of people and places that you care about dearly, but in order to create your own happiness there comes a time when you need to evaluate what moves you and what doesn’t. Ultimately clearing more space to fill with people and places and things that move you.

Love Yourself, Even Bit of Yourself

At the end of the day creating your own happiness comes from you and you alone. Truly loving yourself, and i mean every bit of yourself – physically, emotionally, mentally, can help keep you positive and bring you joy during even the toughest times.

It can be hard to love yourself. With all the chatter on social media and on tv about what is and isn’t right, how to look, what to wear, what not to wear, who to be, who not to be, and more, it becomes difficult to really love all of who we are, flaws included. The desire to change ourselves to fit a mold and to act a certain way may be something that holds us back in the long run. Acknowledging the you are amazing and beautiful is the real first step to creating your own happiness.

Once you control your thoughts on yourself, you can start to really understand how to create your own happiness. The beauty is that happiness is different for everybody and no two ways to create happiness are the same. So take control of your own. Love yourself, Understand yourself, then create the happiness and life you desire!

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