I’ve been on my own Self-Love journey for over a year and a half now. It took falling into a dark place and having to crawl out of it. I ended up putting so much faith in others and in their opinions of me that is left me feeling like nothing but a hollow shell. It was dark. I am so happy to no longer be there, but I know that this is something that happens to people all the time.
Fighting off negativity and really stepping into your own power can be very very difficult to do, and can seem impossible at times. When you find yourself relying too much on others for your own happiness and value their opinions of you over your own, you are setting yourself up for failure. In the end of the day, you are the only one who truly cares about you. You create your own life. You forge your own path. You make your own decisions. You create your own happiness.
If you are fighting through a dark period or struggling to see the goodness around you, it’s time to dig deep and create your own happiness. The idea that an object or another person controls your happiness is insane! You and you alone are fully in charge of your emotions. If you are feeling down, here are 5 easy ways to create your own happiness.
Start a Gratitude Journal
Journaling is a great act of self love. It is also a top notch creative outlet for a few reasons :
- You can journal however you like! – Bullet, Narratives, Drawings
- Sometimes it’s easier to express yourself through words on paper than it is to speak. You can let your creativity flow out on the paper.
- Rarely is there time to start big art projects or crafts, journalling is a quick practice every day that keeps your mind active
The benefit of a Gratitude Journal when it comes to creating your own happiness, is that you are creating a daily/weekly/monthly (whatever your cadence is) documentation of everything you are grateful for. This not only helps you acknowledge all the amazing things you do every day that make you happy in the moment but can also serve as a friendly reminder in the future. If you ever feel yourself dealing with negative emotions or feeling stuck, scoop up that gratitude journal and read through some of your past entries.
Sometimes creating happiness is difficult, but using your gratitude journal to stir up positive emotions is a great way to keep happiness in your life even when you feel like there is none to be found. The truth is you can create happiness anywhere in any situation, your gratitude journal can help you find that and document it to come back to. It’s guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.
Take Control of Your Controllables
A lot of time when we feel stuck, lost, or anxious, we are worrying about things that are out of our control. Is the weather going to hold off for the big party we have planned? What if I lose me job during the mass lay-offs? Am I nervous to hang out in a public setting with friends. What if they make fun of me? – Any and more of these questions may have come through your mind at some point in your life. The common denominator here is that we are worrying about things that we have no control over. When you begin to stress and get lost in thoughts around things that you yourself are not in the driver seat for, there is no way to fix them only worry and stress until it is over. Happiness runs away because you are so consumed about others and about things that could or might happen that you forget to look inward about what you can control.
You can control your emotions, your thoughts, how you spend your time, and who your interact with. Changing those stressful uncontrolled questions from before to positive controlled statements can really bring about a bit of much needed positive energy. “I am so excited to celebrate with my family and friend regardless of the weather.” “I will proactively work on my resume and search job boards so I am prepared if I do fall victim to a mass layoff.” “I will go out with my friends but if I feel uncomfortable I will leave.” “I will not interact with people who do not support me and bring me down.” See how quickly those situations changed by revisiting them and controlling what you can control out of the situation?
Obviously some situations are fully out of your control but the beauty of controlling your controllables is that in the end you know you did everything you could to manage a potentially not-so-great situation. In turn you are preserving your happiness and keeping all the good energy and vibes flowing, opposed to letting all the negative energy sit stagnant in your body.
Find What Moves You
Sometimes we find ourselves in cyclical patterns, continuously doing the same things, going through the same motions, over and over and over again. This pattern can lead to stagnancy and a sense that there is no growth and no where to go except for doing the same thing endlessly. That is not true.
If you find yourself in this pattern, it’s important to reflect and find out what truly moves you. Ask yourself – What makes you excited to wake up in the morning? What is something you will drop everything planned to do? What brings a smile to your face every time you think about it? What thoughts keep you going when things get tough? All these questions can help you find out what you desire most to do with your time.
Creating your own happiness means creating a life that you. That can start with one small change that erupts into a total lifestyle shift, but the key is it starts with the one small change. Finding what moves you and finding ways to incorporate it into your every day life, even in the smallest capacity, can help create happiness to an extent that you couldn’t even imagine.
Acknowledge What Doesn’t Move You
Part of creating our own happiness is removing what doesn’t make us happy. Seems pretty obvious right?
Sometimes it’s harder to realize things that don’t move us because it may be things that we don’t want to let go. This could be a close friend who may have turned toxic, a romantic partner who is no longer pulling their weight in the relationships, or even a job that drains your energy. Just as one positive change can kick start a waterfall of positivity, keeping one negative element in your life can make things fall down a black hole.
Acknowledging what truly is holding you back is the first step. But releasing that back to the universe creates so much space if your life that you can fill with things that do move you. Instead of getting stuck on one piece of your life that may be bringing you all sorts of anxious thoughts and negativity, look to the positives. It may be tough to let go of people and places that you care about dearly, but in order to create your own happiness there comes a time when you need to evaluate what moves you and what doesn’t. Ultimately clearing more space to fill with people and places and things that move you.
Love Yourself, Even Bit of Yourself
At the end of the day creating your own happiness comes from you and you alone. Truly loving yourself, and i mean every bit of yourself – physically, emotionally, mentally, can help keep you positive and bring you joy during even the toughest times.
It can be hard to love yourself. With all the chatter on social media and on tv about what is and isn’t right, how to look, what to wear, what not to wear, who to be, who not to be, and more, it becomes difficult to really love all of who we are, flaws included. The desire to change ourselves to fit a mold and to act a certain way may be something that holds us back in the long run. Acknowledging the you are amazing and beautiful is the real first step to creating your own happiness.
Once you control your thoughts on yourself, you can start to really understand how to create your own happiness. The beauty is that happiness is different for everybody and no two ways to create happiness are the same. So take control of your own. Love yourself, Understand yourself, then create the happiness and life you desire!
Teena Fey 