Positive Mindset - How to make a comeback - Growth mindset

How to Make Your Comeback Better Than the Setback

Who remembers Britney Spears in 2007? I absolutely do. That, my friends, is coming damn near close to hitting rock bottom. Shaved head and all Britney climbed back up from the depths of darkness to one of the best comebacks the world has ever seen. As much as I hope no one ever gets near rock bottom, there’s sometimes other things that happen in our life that can send us into an emotional spiral.

Let’s admit it, life isn’t always butterflies and rainbows. We’ve all had those moments where it seems like any and all things that can go wrong, go wrong. But let’s take a page out of Britney’s 2007 book, get back up and bounce back to your bad ass self that you know you are.

Things are going to happen, break-ups, fights, disappointments at work, even something as small as forgetting to do something you had to do! Don’t you dare let your setback ruin your comeback. Whatever it is that has got you all out of sorts, let’s handle it and get you back to the strong confident person you know you are. As one of my favorite people told me, “put on your big girl jeggings and handle it.” So let’s do the damn thing:

1. Embrace How You Are Feeling

This is your time to get your emotions out. Get mad, get angry, get ridiculously upset, give yourself five minutes of emotional time. Whatever you are going through or dealing with, really feel it and all the emotions that go with it.

Honestly, get your emotions out. A little cry never hurt anyone and neither did getting really angry about a situation. Think about what happened, really reflect on your feelings, why you feel that way, and what caused it to get to this point. Really bask in the crappiness of what happened to you. We are not in the business of brushing emotions under the rug and forgetting about them. Own it.

Seriously, let every single emotion out. Rant to your friends. Write in your journal. Throw a hissy fit in your room. Don’t punch walls or people, let’s let out our emotions while controlling anger :). Do not hold back. Why is this important? Because embracing your emotions makes you more aware of what is going on. It helps spark a little fire under your butt to do something about it and make change.

Maybe that guy you were talking to ghosted you. That sucks. You really liked him and really thought it could go somewhere. Get mad. How could someone do something like that to you?! Maybe you were expecting a promotion at work and it went to someone else. Be angry, you worked hard every day and produced quality work every single day. Maybe a relationship ended that you didn’t expect to. Losing someone close to you sucks especially when you didn’t want it to happen. Be sad, it’s okay to cry about it.

You know what happens from owning your emotions and really thinking about what’s happened? It sparks action.

2. Identify What the Problem is

You got all the feels out of the way now, so let’s move on and figure out what exactly the problem is.

Confirmed – You know how you feel about what happened to you and it’s not a good feeling. Do not allow yourself to become a Negative Nancy. It’s easy to get lost in your emotions and start thinking that different aspects of your life are falling apart also (when they really aren’t). You might even start to nit-pick yourself and ask questions like “What if I didn’t do this?” or “What if I had done that?” What if questions are deadly, avoid those at all costs.

Let’s use the break-up as the example here. Break-ups suck, if you do the breaking up or get broken up with, there is still a lot of pain and emotions involved. Let’s not go Carrie Underwood in this and start keying the side of trucks.

First ask yourself – How exactly do you feel about what’s happened and why?

“Like trash” has been my go-to for when I feel negative emotions, but that’s not helping yourself. Think about each emotion and why.

Why are you sad? You’re losing one of your best friends are it’s hard to imagine life without them. You weren’t expecting this. You think you hurt someone you deeply care about’s feelings. You already miss the person.
Why are you angry? You can’t believe you poured so much into one relationship to have it fail. Some choice words might have been exchanged and you are heated about it.

Next, ask yourself – Does it make sense that I feel this way?

Let’s be honest with ourselves, sometimes the crisis handling stops here. I am 100% guilty of realizing my emotions are uncalled for and it’s pretty funny to look back and laugh about some things that I let get under my skin. But remember if you neglect to reflect on why you are feeling some sort of way, you might not ever have this realization. Go through each emotion and if you come to the conclusion that all those feels are justifiable, then:

Finally, ask yourself – What is it that is really bothering me?

Maybe you start to come to the conclusion that you are sad because this happened again. Rejection and failure are two pretty hard pills to swallow.

Maybe you understand that some of your actions, or theirs, were just unacceptable and the relationship was unhealthy. Letting go of something, even if it is not right for you, is tough to do.

Use these questions for whatever situation you find yourself in. Understand exactly what it is that is causing you to be upset.

3. Find the Silver Lining

I am such a firm believer that there is a positive that comes out of every crappy situation. Our girl Britney went from shaving her head in an emotional meltdown to releasing the #1 Billboard Album, Circus. She even etched that $30 million dollar Las Vegas residency deal a few years ago! If she could get through 2007, then you can damn right get through today.

As miserable as you may think a situation is, there is also some piece of positivity that can come from it. Change your perspective and realize that not everything is in the shitter. It’s difficult to do when you think everything is going up in flames in one big old dumpster fire around you, but there are so many good things happening that you might not even notice.

Try to come up for 5 things that make you happy, they can be anything! They might have nothing to do with the situation that just happened, but get brainstorming. Once you do this you might have a different perspective looking at the crap setback you have in your life. Look at the situation through a different pair on glasses, and it might open your eyes to seeing some new things.

Plan Your Comeback

Now that you looked through the original problem and can see that it is not as debilitating as it seemed. It’s time to get to action.

So let’s make the damn thing happen.

Pick your head up and get to work. No sulking here. You don’t get time back and the more time you wait the tougher it will be to get a grasp on what’s happened to you. The final few questions you need to ask yourself here are –

What am I going to accomplish?
Is this maintainable and something I can stick to?
How am I going to get this done?

With that I’ll leave you with something to think about. Only you know what you are really feeling and going through, don’t let anyone tell you that you should or should not be having a set of emotions. Because you are in control of how you feel, you are also in control of how you come back!

Remember that you are strong, confident, amazing human who is capable of incredible things. Don’t ever let some person or event take that from you.

I really hope this was helpful for you. I’ve been dealing with my own setback this past week and am starting to feel like I am getting back to being myself. I know I’m a far ways off and know that really getting over something takes time, but now is a great time to start and make the mindset change. – Tina

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Positive Quotes for Tough Times

For Staying Positive During the Global Pandemic…

These past couple weeks have been a struggle for many, myself included. The lay-offs are continuing, the virus has not hit its peak, and summer is slowly but surely getting cancelled. I feel like I’m getting numb to all the bad news that keeps coming out in the news and on social media daily.

I am currently on the job hunt, along with millions of other people and have had little to no luck thus far. The next two concerts I had planned in May and June (1. Sleeping with Sirens and 2. Above & Beyond) were cancelled because of Coronavirus. I was supposed to be at Disney World today and don’t have much hope for my Disney World trip in July. Pretty much every Jeep or Truck Show I was looking forward to has been cancelled.

I know I’m not alone here with the bad vibes, but I also know that so many people have it worse. My bad news is nothing compared to what other people are experiencing. The stories I’ve been hearing about those who have been closely affected by Covid-19 are saddening. It breaks my heart knowing how many people have had their lives derailed in any capacity because of this virus.

The bad news may keep piling on top of more bad news with no end in sight, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how tough the current situation is, it will get better. It’s tough keeping positive when everything around is so negative. I’ve put together some of my favorite positive quotes and mantras that are super applicable to the current state of our world. Remember, the comeback is always better than the setback. Save this post for later, you’ll want to keep these close by when you need a positive quote or two.

Positive Quotes for Tough Times

“When everything seems to be against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.” – Henry Ford

“Do not lose hope, please believe that there are a thousand beautiful things waiting for you. Sunshine comes to all who feel rain.” – R.M. Drake

“Keep looking up… That’s the secret of life.” – Charlie Brown

Positive Quotes for Tough Times

“Today, I will not stress over things I can not change.” – Unknown

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.” -Helen Keller

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” -Confucius

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” – Christopher Robin

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” -Arnold Schwarzenegger

“A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt

Positive Quotes for Tough Times

“Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.” -Christopher Reeves

“Be the light in the dark, be the calm in the storm and be at peace while at war.” -Mike Dolan

“Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.” -Dalai Lama

“It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.” -Ellen DeGeneres

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” -Oscar Wilde

“The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.” -Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Positive Quotes for Tough Times

“Positive anything is better than negative nothing.” -Elbert Hubbard

“Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.” -Robert Schuller

“You’re going to go through tough times – that’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ See the positive in negative events.” -Joel Osteen

“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.” -Unknown

“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

“Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation.” – Michael Jordan

Positive Quotes for Tough Times

“People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong. Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?” -Thich Nhat Hanh

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” -Willie Nelson

“If you have a positive attitude and constantly strive to give your best effort, eventually you will overcome your immediate problems and find you are ready for greater challenges.” -Pat Riley

“Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and hope. A ‘you can do it’ when things are tough.” -Richard M. DeVos

“Tough times don’t last. Tough people do. I preach that, and I guess you have to live to it.” -Julian Edelman

“Once you’ve been through tough times, you can only become stronger.” -Alesha Dixon

Barstool Sports Hoodie Selfie = Life Lessons Learned During Covid-19 Stay at Home Order

Life Lessons Learned During the Covid-19 Stay at Home Order

Throughout the past almost 7 weeks of staying at home because of Coronavirus, I’ve managed to do some thinking about pretty much everything. It’s not very often that I have this much time on my hands. If you follow me on instagram you know I’ve been on the go, and “stay at home” wasn’t really a thing for me. I just hit the road not as frequently as normal.

I’ve managed to travel between New Jersey, New York, Massachusetts, and New Hampshire. Don’t worry social distancing was practiced and plenty of hand sanitizer was used. Being able to “stay at home,” made me realize that I don’t really know where home is and that’s totally ok. I like exploring and seeing new places. In the crazy life, the most important thing is to be happy and I’m thankful for this pandemic for showing me that. Here’s how I’ll be focusing on happiness from here on out:

Get outside and enjoy the world as much as possible.

There is so much to see and so much to do. Staying inside for even one whole day is torturous. Whether it’s a walk around your neighborhood or a hike up in the mountains, getting outside is therapeutic.

Fresh air is an amazing thing. It’s easy to get lost in the day to day craziness of work or life and sooner rather than later you’ve been stuck inside for a week straight. I’ve managed to come up with over 15 places, near and far, that I have added to my to-do list for the year. I will make them all happen.

Life LessonFind what moves you and get going. For me its traveling, road tripping, and getting outside to see new places.

Appreciate the people around you.

You are the people you surround yourself with. That’s always been a fact that I’ve loved. Being around people who lift you up and make you the best you that you can be is so important.

From friends to family, this quarantine has allowed me to get closer to the best friends and family. I didn’t think that would be possible, but when it comes down to it your people keep you together. It’s been the new normal to find ways to get together and stay close when the world is literally out to make that impossible.

Life LessonDistance sucks, but it can’t break your closest relationships. Distance can be a tricky thing, but it also makes the heart grow fonder.

Don’t do things that take away from your happiness.

This is a huge thing for me. I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching lately about what I should be doing and what really makes me happy. I’ve started doubling down on putting my energy where I get the most happiness and removing it from areas that are taking from my happiness.

Just one small shift in energy can change your whole mood. Life is to be determined (see what I did there). There’s no point in being unhappy or chasing something that just doesn’t do it for you.

During this quarantine I made some pretty big life choices that can really alter the rest of my life. Wild stuff. In the end I know I’ll be better off than I was before because if there’s one thing you should focus on, it’s being happy.

Life LessonBE HAPPY! No explanation needed.

Do things for you.

It comes down to being happy, and I forget about that from time to time. Did it take a pandemic and a nationwide shut down for me to realize that? Yes. There’s always a rainbow after rain. That works as a metaphor, I think?

Regardless do things that make you happy. Life is too short to be with people who irritate you, to spend time at a job you don’t like, and to be doing things you don’t want to be doing.

If it’s 5 minutes a day or the whole 24 hours, do something you’ve always wanted to do. You’ve got time with this whole quarantine thing.

Life LessonJust do it.


The Best Virtual Fitness Options for a Solid Workout While All Gyms Are Closed.

We are living in a crazy time right now. Getting used to the new normal, existing and trying to find new routines, and stay sane during the COVID-19 pandemic is no small task. The gym has always been a place to retreat where I can zone out and forget about all the everyday stress for an hour a day. With all gyms being closed to help flatten the curve, I’ve been on a mission to find new ways to stay sane and get a good workout in!

  1. Yoga with Adriene – YouTube – free

I found Yoga with Adriene last year while researching yoga for beginners. I was intimidated by going to a studio and learning around others who were more advanced than I was, so i embraced the home practice. Adriene’s YouTube channel has over 6,500,000 subscribers! Her videos range from beginner to advanced and she posts weekly workouts that add to her arsenal of yoga videos that she has been posting for over 7 years. She also creates 30-day yoga challenges, there are at least 3 that I have done personally. These challenges are awesome introductions to yoga-practice and naturally progress as they go on. For those more advanced in their practice, head to Adriene’s website where she creates free monthly calendars for practice that include her previous and new videos. YWA has proven to be an amazing workout and perfect for at home training during the stay-at-home notice.

2. Obe Fitness – On-Demand Fitness Classes – 7-day free trial, $27 per month or $199 for 1 year

Obe Fitness is the Peloton of group fitness classes. With over 4,000 pre recorded and live classes, you can always find the workout you want! They are keeping up with their live class schedule, and you can check it out on their website. They have live classes every half hour, from 7am to 2:30pm. Since there is a full library of taped classes, you can tune in at any time. The classes cover all fitness workouts, from yoga to boxing to hiit to dance. Check out the free trial today!

3. Sweat by Kayla Itsines – App – Free Month Trial, $20 per month, $55 for 3 months, $120 for 1 year

You may know Kayla Itsines from Instagram and her massive following of fitchicks from her “Bikini Body Guide.” Her quick hiit workouts and easy to make meal guide instantly blew up a few years ago and started the BBG movement with meet-ups and groups forming all over the world. She has since created her app Sweat, where she teams up with other fitness influencers. Sweat is a one stop shop for solid workouts and healthy meal options. The app really keeps you motivated and helps you track progress by challenges and tracking times and reps. If you are looking for quick 30-minute workouts, meal plans, and an amazing community this is for you.

What are you doing to stay fit while being confined to your house? Let me know in the comments!

Tried a workout and ready for a NetFlix binge? Check out Tiger King!

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