I’ve been told a few times that life isn’t always perfect. Ain’t that the truth. I can’t even begin to count the amount of times that things have gone wrong. Without being incredibly cliche, life really is a roller coaster. You could be on top of the world one day and with the blink of an eye, everything can seem to crumble to the ground around you.
It happens to everyone. Literally. Everyone has had that sad feeling at some point in their life. And guess what?
It’s okay to have that sad feeling.
That rock bottom, nothing can get better, sad feeling. That sad feeling that is totally earth-shattering and takes over every aspect of your life. It’s okay to have that. That feeling that makes you feel the most helpless and unconsolable. The non-stop stressing. The sleepless nights. The tears that just non-stop fall. The endless phone calls to the people that love you. That sad feeling that you wish was never a thing. It’s okay to have that.
It’s okay to have that sad feeling.
Because after a while, you start to realize that you aren’t as close to rock bottom as you may have originally thought. You aren’t going to let yourself stay in this ditch that you think you’re stuck in. That sad feeling shouldn’t of even been a thing. You’re better than that. But let’s be real, that initial moment can last for what feels like a lifetime. The sad feeling that makes seconds feel like hours, hours feel like days, and weeks feel like years. It’s okay to have that. Because you know what? It ends. That sad feeling does go away. It’ll come back, because that’s what it does. It tests you. It makes you question if you can get out of this rut. You can. You will eventually get to the point where you may just start thinking that this sad feeling can get better.
It’s okay to have that sad feeling.
That sad feeling that finally starts to go away for good, no more tests. It’s okay to have that. Things start to get better and you start to forget why that sad feeling was even a thing to begin with in the first place. That sad feeling that isn’t really a sad feeling at all any more. It is more than okay to have that because that sad feeling becomes a thing of the past. Those sleepless nights become a good night’s rest. Those tears stop falling. That helplessness goes away and you start feel in control again. That sad feeling that isn’t a thing anymore really turned things around.
It’s okay to have that sad feeling.
Because in the end, without that sad feeling the good feelings wouldn’t be as great as they are. Without that sad feeling you would be comfortable being content. That sad feeling forced you to be better. It forced you to grow. Without that sad feeling you’d still be in the same place you were. It may just be the push you need to become the person you’re meant to be. That sad feeling isn’t a sad feeling anymore. At the end of the day that sad feeling is the reason that things got better. You got better. That sad feeling doesn’t last forever. You can’t let it last forever.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. It’s ok to feel sad. It’s ok to feel whatever you feel and it’s ok to go through whatever you are going through. It’s also more than okay to talk about it. Normalize talking about your mental health.
Back at it again with a personal post – Sometimes I think it’s helpful to share some personal stories with the hope that they can help someone else. So here’s mine! Looking back at 2020 as a whole, here are 4 things that I am grateful to 2020 for. All of these things are lessons and adventures that I hope will guide me through 2021. It’s all about living and learning, right?
Being Back On Long Island
This is a tough one to swallow at first, but at the end of the day being back home on Long Island has been a blessing. Leaving Boston was very emotional – it took a lot to leave the city. It was leaving everything I’ve known and knowing that my ultimate plans didn’t pan out how I anticipated them too. I felt like a failure. But at the end of the day, it was the exact opposite of failing. Moving back to Long Island was the best decision I could of made and has allowed for some great additions to my life. From a new job to new goals, and a new relationship – I think it’s safe to say that I am truly happy. I guess the Long Island life is for me.
Getting Out Of A Toxic Relationship
Navigating a toxic relationship is a situation I never want to be in again. Although it was short, the relationship took such a toll on my self-esteem, self-worth, and the direction I wanted my life to go in. You are the culmination of the 5 people who you spend the most time with – meaning the person you are in a relationship with is a direct representation of you. Being with a narcissistic person who is manipulative and emotionally abusive was something I didn’t want to admit. Acknowledging how I was being put down daily and noticing the negative habits, left removing myself from the situation as the only solution. So here’s my giant Thank You to 2020 for allowing me to see a bad situation and remove myself from it before it was too late. I hope anyone else in a toxic situation realizes it early and listen to your friends! Don’t be blinded!
Giving Me Back The Time To Work On The Blog
There’s always some silver lining to being stuck at home and not being able to do anything right? For me that was being able to dedicate a lot more time to this blog. I’ve always wanted to get this up and running – but between every thing I do and the consistent traveling to events, the downtime allowed me to focus my energy here! It’s been amazing and a lot of fun to work on growing the blog – I’ve learned so much and met some amazing people. The power of social media and the internet is really incredible. Seeing the follower numbers increase, the amazing comments, the messages, and the positive encouragement has been amazing and so much motivation to keep being consistent posting. So thank you to everyone reading this and for the on-going support – this has been an amazing outlet and and incredible learning experience for me. I’m excited for what’s to come! Get ready for some new content, helpful messages, and more fun tips for living the Long Island life!
Having Lacrosse Back In My Life
If you checked out the 10 things you might not know about me post, you’ll see how lacrosse has been in my life for pretty much it’s entirety. I’ve played team lacrosse since I was in second grade – it really has molded me to the person that I am today. While living in Boston, I shut lacrosse from my life and no longer coached, trained, or played the sport. Throughout 2019, I was able to get my foot back in the door to the lacrosse world. Last year (and early 2020), I was commuting back and forth from Boston to Long Island every weekend in order to coach. It took a toll on me personally and my friendships. Being back on Long Island full time has allowed me to not only coach two lacrosse teams but has allowed me to maintain a full schedule of private trainings. I’m excited to announce that I am going to be starting my own lacrosse brand which focuses on training and mentoring youth lacrosse players to help grow the game, all while giving back to areas where lacrosse is not present. I’m so excited for this new venture and journey. So thank you, 2020!
What are some things that you are thankful for 2020 for?
Hey I’m back! I took a bit of time off around Christmas to enjoy some quality time with my family. As much as I love blogging and being active on Social Media – it really is tough to balance time. But we are back and there is only a week left until the new year! 2021 has some pretty interesting shoes to fill after 2020.
New Years Resolutions don’t have to be crazy goals – although it is nice to set a reach goal that you can work towards. Typically these are the resolutions that fall apart a few weeks after they are started. New Years Resolutions are a great thing to use as a stepping stone to get your year off to a great start. Trust me, I get that you can make a decision at any point during the year to start on a new path – but there’s something about making a change on January 1st that really sets the tone for the entire year.
After 2020, the dumpster fire that it really was, it’s time to practice some self love. Heading into 2021, the goal is to go up from here. That starts with getting yourself to a good place. Practicing self-love is the way to do just that! Check out some New Years resolutions that promote self-love.
Self Care New Years Resolutions
Don’t go to sleep with make-up on. Implement a daily skincare routine. Make your bed every morning. Implement a night time routine. Write in a journal daily. Use daily affirmations. Get 8 hours of sleep every night. Limit your screen time every day (1, 2, 3, 4 hours a day). No social media on the weekends. Put your phone away an hour before bedtime every night.
New Years Resolutions For Being Active
Work out 3 times a week. Take at least 10,000 steps every day. Sign up for a gym membership (and use it). Start a new workout routine. Run/Walk 1, 2, 3+ miles a day. Sign up for a 5k and train for it! Start a yoga practice, and practice daily. Commit to at least 30 minutes of exercise every day. Sign up for obe fitness at home workouts. Participate in a fitness challenge – ex. Fit by Katy Winter Challenge
Nutrition New Years Resolutions
Cut sugar (in small doses) from your diet. Drink at least 1 gallon of water a day. Have 3 complete meals a day. Learn your macro nutrients and stick to them. Add greens/veggies to every meal. Give yourself 2 cheats every week. Stop eating fast food.
Mindset New Years Resolutions
Start a gratitude journal. Create and update a vision board with your future goals. Write down 3 good things every day – one for health, one for wealth, one for happiness Eliminate negative self-talk. Set 3 goals for the year – one financial, one for health, one for relationships. Remove one negative influence from your life. Look for a new job/career that will make you happy.
Wealth New Years Resolutions
Stop buying coffee daily. Buy food weekly from the grocery store and stop eating from restaurants. Save x amount of dollars per week. Start using Acorns to invest money for the future. Create a savings account and set automatic payments. Pay credit cards off in full every month. Whenever you pay with cash, and get a $5 bill in change put that aside and don’t spend it. At the end of the year count how much money you have. Replace retail therapy with another activity. Use stash app to start saving for your goals, car, home, etc.
What are some ways you are going to promote self love during 2021?
Let’s be real here, real quick… Social Media can completely take over and consume our thoughts. That’s actually what it is designed to do – it’s designed to be an addiction. It’s scary to think about, but it really does have to be acknowledged. The negative side of Social Media pops its ugly head into our lives pretty frequently, whether we notice it or not. Taking a break from Social Media is not a bad thing. In fact, it could change your outlook!
Not everything about Social Media is negative though – it is a great way to stay connected to distant loved ones and even meet new like-minded friends. The idea of connecting digitally has opened up so many opportunities for people all over the world. It really is an incredible thing.
Have you ever taken a break from Social Media? It could be a day, a week, or even a whole month! It can really help you reset – before I get into it too much here are 5 reasons why a Social Media can change your life.
1. Allows You To Stop Focusing On Other People’s Lives
This, in my mind, is the number one reason why I take Social Media breaks. Sometimes you get lost in lives of influencers and celebrities – you might find yourself down a rabbit hole in looking from accounts and profiles. Admit it, we’ve all done it.
As intriguing as the Kardashian family’s lives are and following up on all the latest Bachelor/Bachelorette drama, they have nothing compared to your life. Having a Social Media Break allows you to focus on your own life! Take the time you are spending looking into other’s lives and start investing it in your own.
2. Gives You Time Back In Your Day
Taking a Social Media break means not going on any Social Networking platforms – a clean break from them. You ever think about all the time you spend throughout the day looking at pictures, posts, and videos? It’s probably way more time than you want to admit to (it is for me at least).
Think about all the things you can focus on if you gained an hour or two back in your day? That’s exactly what a Social Media break can do. It can give you time back in your day to try new things, maybe get off your butt and exercise, start a blog! The possibilities are endless – I think it’s fair to say that having a Social Media break can give you the time back in your day to finish a project you’ve always wanted to finish or start a new one.
3. Can Help Your Eyes & Head
I hate getting my weekly screen time report and seeing the hours a week that I spend looking through social, it’s pretty depressing actually. I hope I’m not the only one, I’m actually confident I’m not, who can’t believe the hours that were taken away of my week just simply scrolling. Having a Social Media break can help with the mindless scrolling and staring, which can help your health. Phone screens give off blue light which can have negative effects on eyesight. It is also a leading cause of migraines! Limiting your screen time and time on social media will give your eyes and your head a break.
4. Teaches You To Live In The Moment
I think @influencersinthewild is the ultimate evidence for this point. Seeing the absolutely crazy limits people will go to capture a new picture is at times, hysterical. Because of Social Media, people are always on the look out for the next best picture or video. Whether it be waiting in line to take a picture at a painted wall or not paying attention at a concert or sporting event to get a ‘cool’ picture, people seem to be letting their lives revolve around Social Media. This just means that they are missing out on interactions and moments that you can’t get back.
A Social Media break can help you live in the moment. Put your phone down and start making mental memories! By taking a break from Social Media you allow yourself to pay attention to things other than your phone screen. You may see something new and learn something new. By taking your head out of staring at your screen, you can open your eyes to memories that you can cherish forever. Not worrying about capturing the next most-liked picture on the feed allows you to enjoy the people around you.
5. Can Help Your Self Esteem
Social Media is filled with images and people that appear to be nothing shy of perfect. Fancy restaurants, fancy vacations, luxury cars, perfect models with ‘perfect’ bodies are constant staples on the Instagram Explore Page. Remember FaceTune is a real thing and a lot of people use it daily (Tana Mongeau I’m talking to you!). There’s nothing wrong with face tuning pictures to look your best self – but it is wrong to look at other people’s Instagram Posts and think less of yourself. When looking through Instagram it’s easy to get lost in seeing what you don’t have or what you don’t look like. We live in a world that promotes instant gratification, likes, follows, and bases them all off of looks. Getting lost in the perfectly curated world of photoshopped realities can play games with your mind.
It’s important to remember that you are beautiful, strong, and have everything that could want in life. A social media break can help reset your mind and help you realize that. There’s no need to compare yourself to others. There’s no need to do things others are doing. Focus on yourself and your own well-being. Taking a break from social media can allow you to fall in love with yourself again. Your follower count doesn’t matter. The amount of likes you get doesn’t matter. Who likes your pictures doesn’t matter. You matter. Put yourself first!
It’s getting colder and the sun is rising later, which means we will all be waking up in the dark soon. Maybe it’s just me but as winter gets into full swing here on Long Island, waking up with no sunlight is so difficult. It literally could take an army to get me out of my bed. Even after waking up it’s tough to get going, just a constant groggy feeling – it sucks. Implementing a morning routine can help with all of this!
Starting the day on the right foot can lead to a super productive day. Having an effective and maintainable morning routine can help you keep those good mornings going day after day.
Did you know that having a morning routine can give you :
More Free Time
Better Sleep Patterns
Getting your life together in the morning can lead to all sorts of positive things! There’s no better feeling than waking up and feel productive. A morning routine can help with this! But it does take time and some fine tuning. Sometimes you plan too little and sometimes you plan too much, it about coming up with the perfect combination that gets you fired up to start your day. Don’t be discouraged if a morning routine didn’t work in the past, you can try again and make it better for you!
Having a morning routine can kick start the mood for your entire day. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy either. I personally give myself 30-45 minutes every morning to run through my morning routine. A routine can be different for everyone, some people need an hour to wake up some people need 5 minutes. If you are thinking about adding a morning routine to your schedule or just looking to change yours up a bit, here’s a list of some things you can include!
Make a Healthy Breakfast
Write Down Your Goals For The Day
Make a Cup of Coffee
Going for a Walk
Read for 30 Minutes
Make Your Bed
There are really endless possibilities that you can incorporate into a morning routine. The idea is to create a maintainable routine that not only makes you excited to wake up in the morning, but gets you ready to tackle the entire day ahead. It gives you time to plan in the morning and can help you lay out a game plan for the day. In reality, there really aren’t any downsides to a morning routine!
Do you have a morning routine? What are some of the things you do every morning?
It’s the end of the year and I cannot wait for my week and a half off! This year has had some many ups and downs – from moving from Boston and starting a new job, to navigating my way out of an extremely toxic relationship and finding a better one. I swear 2020 was the year for ultimate growth – but one thing that’s been consistent throughout most of the year? Work Stress.
Some people handle work stress better than others – I like to think I have a good hold on it, but sometimes I let it control my day. The first thing to do before trying to fix work stress, is acknowledging that it is a thing! We spend so much time at work, a majority of our lives, that it just seems normal at some point. Guess what? It’s not. Yes, some stress is good. It means you’re invested in reaching a goal and motivated to do it. When that stress reaches a higher level and it becomes unmaintainable, then your productivity will plummet. You want to avoid that at all costs.
Finding the line being highly productivity and stress related burn out is tough in the work place, especially in highly competitive environments. Once you’ve acknowledged that work stress is 100% the problem, here are some ways to help you decompress and keep your sanity.
Figure Out What Is Causing Your Work Stress
Work Stress can come from various different sources – figuring out what is causing the stress can help you better understand how to control it and also how to navigate your way out of it. Sometimes we get stressed over things that just aren’t worth it, you need to understand the root or the problem to know how to fix it. Maybe you have a micro-managing boss who is always nagging in your ear. Maybe you set unrealistic daily expectations for yourself and struggle to reach your goals every day. It could be that you are just unhappy at work. The list really could go on forever – every industry and job title has its own pressures and stress that come along with the territory.
Once you understand why your work stress is getting to a crazy point, you can start to develop a plan to fix it. Try to solve something that you don’t know the basis of can be tough, all the wine and essential oils can’t solve a problem if you don’t know why you have it.
Work Breaks Into Your Daily Schedule
Staring at your computer or working yourself to the bone for 8 hours straight doesn’t do anyone good. If you find yourself stressed from work, give yourself time regularly to take a break. Make sure you respect this time! Don’t go and book meetings or schedule tasks during your free time.
Breaks help with your productivity and your focus. Stepping away helps clear your mind and gives you a chance to look at things with fresh eyes. A task that was once daunting might not be as bad at second glance. Allowing yourself 5-10 minutes to get away from work, wether it be a task or a person, can help save your entire day.
Ask For Help
This is tough for a lot of people, myself included. Remember this – asking for help does not mean defeat. Asking for help doesn’t show weakness, it simply means that you need help! Most of the time, others are more than ready to assist a helping hand. If your work stress is coming from a place of unpreparedness or being unsure, asking for help can change your life. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from higher ups or peers – It’s a lot more beneficial to get the task done right first than to be told that it’s wrong and you have to re-do everything. Whatever you need help with just be vocal about it – everyone has been new or a beginner at some point. If you are confused, don’t know where to start, don’t know how to work something, not sure what to do next, don’t give up on it completely. Ask for help!
If You Need To Vent, Don’t Vent To A Co-Worker
If you have stress from work, chances are some of your co-workers do too. You should refrain at all costs from venting to them. Call your friends or your family. Talking about work stress to co-workers can open a can of worms when it comes to office drama and things getting re-told to people who shouldn’t hear them. You really just don’t want to go there. But why is this important to handling stress?
When you start venting with a co-worker, it will continue. It can become part of your every day to complain about how stressed you are and how miserable you can be. It takes time out of your day to finish your work and it puts a lot of negative energy in the air. Instead of talking to someone in your office or organization, try calling a close friend or family member. They’ll be totally unbiased, let you get whatever you have to off your chest and then go on with your day. It will only occur the next time you call or talk to them about it. Venting is so necessary and can help with controlling and decompressing stress from work – just make sure you are venting to the right people!
Stop Working At The Same Time Every Day, Don’t Overwork.
This might be a reason because I need to hear this… I work 12/13 hour days normally and it really takes a toll. Overworking might not be bad the first or second time, but it takes a mental and physical toll if it becomes a reoccuring issue. Letting work take over your life can be pretty negative toward your overall well-being. A way to combat this is to set a time that you can stop working and call it a day, don’t look back.
I totally get that some jobs you can’t do this and that some people have to be available 24/7. For situations like this, make sure your time off is your time off. Bringing work to days off makes work an around the clock event. If you can’t be done at a certain time then it is incredibly important to maximize your time off. Separate yourself from work and help get a head of your work stress!
I hope this was helpful! What are some ways that you handle work stress?
It’s been almost a full year since the world was hit with the COVID-19 pandemic. Two weeks turned into 9 months very quickly. As anticipated, all signs are pointing to another shutdown. Just when things were starting to look up, numbers seem to be spiking again. Being through the initial shutdown and quarantine craziness, we’re in a better mental state to take on this looming second covid shutdown.
The first shutdown taught a lot of us about who we are as people – lots of quarantine time to spend with yourself and your loved ones. The led to plenty of quarantine break-ups (guilty) and some bridges burned from short tempers. But it also led to some really positive self growth and awareness. Knowing the two ends of the spectrum that this eventual shutdown and quarantine can lead to, it’s time to put your best foot forward and make the best of a situation that really isn’t great at all.
Here are a few things to start thinking about before the world turns upside down again – Hopefully together we can all make this next shutdown a productive one.
Buy What Your Need, Don’t Be a Hoarder.
You heard me. The absolute mayhem that ensued over toilet paper was just pure idiocy. Buy what you need and please don’t create a stock pile. There are many essential business and operations that will stay functioning during a shutdown that will make sure you have what you need to survive and wipe. You will get your toilet paper, please don’t start hoarding it and price gauging on Amazon, that’s just not cool. We’re all in this together.
Make Sure You Have Proper PPE
With the new administration change, it looks like a mask mandate is in our future. Although this is a touchy subject, we have to remember that it is not the business owners rule. Getting frustrated with employees who are working for a living during a crazy time is unacceptable. They are not the one’s who made the rules and are probably just as annoyed as you are that they have to wear a mask all day every day. Being in an establish without a mask can mean high fines for the business you are in. Please look out for those who are doing everything they can and wear the mask. I promise there are other ways to make your point without disrupting day to day business, and i agree that point should be made!
Do Not Become A Hermit
This goes out to all my introverts out there. As amazing as it is not have to deal with human interaction on the day-to-day during a quarantine situation, it really isn’t healthy. Maintain your relationships and friendships. Check in on those you care about. Do not lock the door and throw away the key. Hey, I was lucky enough to meet someone during quarantine the first time and am pretty happy with how things are going. Just because this “new normal” is happening doesn’t mean you have to put your life on hold.
Wash Your Hands!
We’re dealing with a pandemic in flu season. Yes, we haven’t heard much about the flu but it is still a thing. Don’t think you are immune to any sickness. Take care of yourself and those around you. Wash your hands!
These past couple weeks have been a struggle for many, myself included. The lay-offs are continuing, the virus has not hit its peak, and summer is slowly but surely getting cancelled. I feel like I’m getting numb to all the bad news that keeps coming out in the news and on social media daily. I … Read More
Please Don’t Make Hand Sanitizer Out Of Tequila or Vodka
I still have PTSD from grabbing some hand sanitizer and upon application think I poured a shot of alcohol in my hands. I don’t want to be reminded of college binge drinking when I am trying to kill any virus germs on my hands. It’s inconsiderate, don’t be that person! Plus after the first lock-down companies doubled down on the opportunity to make hand sanitizer. You can find it everywhere and above the 60% alcohol mark the CDC recommends! I just picked up a large bottle at Target for 4 bucks, they had hundreds in stock.
Don’t Abuse Single Use Gloves
The biggest pet peeve of all of this coronavirus pandemic was seeing people use gloves and touch their face. Or use gloves at the gas station to pump gas, open their wallet with the same gloves, use the credit card with the same gloves, put that waller in their pocket or bag, and drive away holding the steering wheel with the same gloves. The cross contamination that everyone witnesses was really something for the record books. Use your hand sanitizer, wash your hands, and for the love of god please stop spreading germs everywhere with your gloves!
If You Are Not Feeling Well, Admit It.
I’ve heard many people who have not felt well, gone out and interacted with other people, only to find out the next day after a test that they indeed have tested positive for coronavirus. You may think you are fine and invincible but that doesn’t mean that someone else isn’t. Yes it sucks having to stay inside, but doing the right thing really goes a long way, especially during a global pandemic.
It’s A Great Time To Start Something New!
Being stuck in the house and in the house bored, seems well boring. That’s because it is. Flip that attitude upside down and think about all the free time you gain. Think about how much you can gain if you use that time to your advantage. Whether is starting a new quarantine hobby, finishing a household project you’ve been thinking of for months, or even starting a business, just do it! With all this free time at your finger-tips, and no where to go, why not hone in and be productive and work towards a goal! There’s no better time then right now. Why not be the next quarantine success story?
Throughout the past almost 7 weeks of staying at home because of Coronavirus, I’ve managed to do some thinking about pretty much everything. It’s not very often that I have this much time on my hands. If you follow me on instagram you know I’ve been on the go, and “stay at home” wasn’t really … Read More
Support Local Businesses
We all learned that local small business will take a huge hit if this pandemic causes another shutdown. Even if they are forced to close their doors, there are ways to support! From buying gift-cards or buying branded merchandise, helping these business stay afloat is imperative to our economy. We are all in this together. I’ve seen some amazing business shut their doors on Long Island and in New York City, it’s a shame that it’s gotten to this point. I hope that this shutdown we all band together to help small businesses!
Don’t Cough In Public
You want a one way ticket to getting dirty looks? Cough in public. Coronavirus has made coughing in public taboo. Don’t be that guy.
Throw Out Your PPE, Don’t Leave It On The Ground
It was so sad to see the amount of masks and gloves being tossed on the ground and not put in garbage cans. Leaving garbage out is so gross and not pretty to look at it. Even if you have using garbage cans, just try to make the world a prettier place when we are all stuck in a pretty sour situation. Just throw out your trash in a garbage can and call it a day. No more dropping masks and gloves on the street!
Schedule Zoom Dates With Friends
Even if you can’t go out to eat or hang out, use Zoom to stay connected. With friends or family don’t just rely on calling. Having face-to-face interaction can help you stay positive, as well as your friends and family. You never know how much a phone call or chat can make someone’s day. Don’t think Zoom is stupid or annoying, it kind of is, but it’s the one of the only things we will have to keep staying close with those closest to us.
Starting a new routine is tough, but it’s starting to click. Today marks the start of week 5 of social distancing for me and I think I’m getting a pretty good grip on my new daily routine.
Don’t Wear A Mask In Your Car Alone
This may be something that just drives me crazy, but I know I can’t be the only one. You are alone in a vehicle, there is no need to wear a mask. You are by yourself. Unless you work as a ride-share driver or have a medical conditioning that requires you to do so.
Don’t Under Play The Virus
Yes, some people have had no reaction to the disease yet others have lost family members and loved ones. Everyone’s situation is different and assuming makes an ass of you and me. You never know who is truly hurting from the coronavirus. The virus is real and people’s live’s have been effected by it. Numbers and reporting may by inaccurate, but the bottom line is this is real and people have been hurt from it. Remember that before you say anything that could potentially be insensitive to others.
Going into shutdown again is such a bad thought, but even if it does happen we have to stay positive. Positive that things will turn around and positive that this will not last forever.
Success! You're on the list.
Whoops! There was an error and we couldn't process your subscription. Please reload the page and try again.
This week has been absolutely crazy, and I’m writing this on Wednesday. I’m sure you’ve had a week like this, ya know that feels like 3 months but it’s only 7 days? Working at a Marketing Agency on Long Island, during pre-holiday season, means mass controlled chaos. Stress from work is at an all time high coupled with the sun setting early, makes for not the best the best mood. Working 10 hour plus days, working at home in the same place all day, waking up in the dark and ending your day in the dark, all have been the norm since day light savings and it’s all started to compound into one bad mood. I have managed 2 meltdowns in one week (it’s only Wenesday). Let’s be real – this week has been anything but a highlight.
But has it really been that bad? Yes, dealing with all the work stress and seasonal depression is tough but it’s not the only thing worth thinking about. Focusing on the negative makes everything negative. Focusing on the positive makes everything positive. Mindset shifts can really change your entire mood. Yes, I’ll be the first person to tell you I’ve been a grump and counting down the minutes til the weekend since I went to bed on Sunday night. But in the grand scheme of things this week really hasn’t been that bad, here’s why :
1. Got Started On Christmas Shopping
2. Started Blogging Again
3. Worked Out Every Day
4. Planned Dinner with a Friend I Haven’t Seen in a While
5. I am Finalizing a New Business
6. Re-Organized my Dresser
7. Ate Lunch & Dinner Every Day (big win)
8. Step Count Averaged Over 6k Steps a Day
9. Went To Target
10. Drank 64oz+ of Water Every Day
If you can’t find 10 good things about your week, then you need to go back and re-adjust how you look at it. Stressful days at work or dram with friends happens, it’s easy for it to consume your thoughts. Always remember that there is always a silver lining. You might read my ten things and go “Tina, seriously?” But I promise that organizing my dresser and getting my step count over 5k a day are huge accomplishments. Take a minute and think about the good things that happened when you’re having a crappy week, I promise you that not everything is as bad as it seems.
I challenge you on your toughest week to sit back and come up with 10 things that you accomplished or are proud of. I promise it’s not as difficult as it seems. It also feels amazing to have that mindset shift from negative to positive!
Success! You're on the list.
Whoops! There was an error and we couldn't process your subscription. Please reload the page and try again.
I just had to fill out a survey for “life milestones” that I have completed or anticipate completing in the past and upcoming year. Just a few questions included were : Did you buy a home? Are you pregnant? Did you have a baby? Are you planning a wedding? Do you plan or planning a wedding? Do you plan on getting pregnant? Are you going to be a bridesmaid in a wedding? Are you graduating with a new degree? If anyone knows my life, you are aware that the answer to every single one of those questions is a hard no. I’m sure there are many others who fall into the same boat as me. If we haven’t answered yes to any of those questions, have we really accomplished anything in our lives so far?
Some might say yes. But I don’t think that’s the case at all, soo ya girl did a little brainstorming. Check out this list of life milestones that adults should be celebrating.
Social Media does not always do the best job at building up our self esteems. With social media feeds with perfectly curated images with designer fashion, luxurious vacations, and every home renovation you’ve ever wanted (for the house you don’t own), constantly being scrolled through and double tapped it’s hard to not compare your reality to someone else’s. Comparing your life to someone else’s is inevitable but should be avoided at all costs. If you think you have nothing to celebrate in your life than keep reading.
Life Milestones That Should be Celebrated More
Starting a New Job
Any change in a career should be noted as a milestone. We spend most of our time working, at least I do! Our jobs and careers do define us to a degree because they take up a lot of our daily time. One of the first questions you ask someone when you meet them is, “What do you do?” Your career is a large part of your life, so why not celebrate a change? So if you got a new job this year or hell if you left your job and started your own company, You go Glen Coco! That’s a milestone if I’ve ever heard of one.
It takes guts to take a leap of faith and start something new. Whether it’s a job in a new industry, a total new career path, or a new business. Trust me, that does not go unnoticed. There’s multiple reasons why you might get a new job. You could out grow your current role or you could have gotten fired. Maybe you had a very toxic workplace and finally built up the courage to jump ship. Moral of the story – It’s a big decision, a big deal, and definitely a life milestone.
Leaving a Toxic Relationship
There’s always so much celebration about relationships moving to the next level or stage, but there doesn’t seem to be any for ending one. In today’s world there is a lot pressure to portray a perfect life and image and that includes relationships. Having a picture perfect engagement and wedding are things that some people dream of, even if it is with the wrong person and things are going south. We create false realities and say “it will get better.” Sometimes that works, but other times it doesn’t. If you are in a relationship that just isn’t working anymore, there is no harm is saying you tried, you did your best (Dane Cook voice #iykyk), and it’s time to move on.
Let’s start seeing endings as new beginnings. Leaving a toxic relationship is so much more of an accomplishment to be proud of than sticking around and forcing a future with someone that just isn’t meant to be. Realizing your worth and leaving a bad situation is 100% a life milestone.
Moving to a New City
Moving is typically tied with sadness, not always but hear me out. Leaving a place you’ve lived means leaving the life you’ve built, the friends you’ve made, and your home behind. It’s so tough. I’ve moved and seen friends move to different sides of the country, and it hurts every time. It’s sad to know that things aren’t going to be the same anymore and that life is going to change. Just because things are changing doesn’t mean it’s a bad change!
Whether it’s you moving or a friend moving, it is something to be celebrated. Change is a good thing and that needs to be celebrated more. Embrace that new city and the new life you are going to built! Look at everything that’s ahead, not what you are leaving behind. Life milestone approved.
Paying off Your Credit Cards in Full Every Month
You know what’s really cool? Finally being able to call yourself financially stable.
Starting out a career right out of college or after high school has the tough reality that you aren’t going to be making the amount of money that you want to be to support your lifestyle. That can lead to crippling debt month over month, and that’s a scary position to be in. What’s a really awesome accomplishment that you should be proud of? Finally being able to pay off a credit card balance in full and not carry over debt month to month. That’s a life milestone accomplishment. Can you also start putting money aside to invest into a 401k? You’ve made it to stability, you should be pumped.
Starting a Side Hustle
Starting a side hustle means you are hungry for more, and that’s a pretty awesome thing! That means you want more out of life than you are currently getting. Maybe it’s more money, a more fulfilling path, or a more flexible schedule so you can spend more time with your family. Your “why” could be a million different things and it doesn’t impact the fact that you started something new! That’s something to be celebrated.
It takes a whole lot of courage to start something new and takes even more to continue building something from scratch every single minute of every single day. The effort and dedication it takes to start a side hustle is no small feat. If you decided to start you own side hustle, kudos to you, you took the first step. Life milestone achieved!
Saying “No” to Someone or to Something
Learning to respect your time is a huge deal. I’m a big yes person, and I’m still working on this, but I am so incredibly proud and jealous of the people who have mastered this. When you say no to a person or an obligation, it is ok. You’re not letting anyone down. It’s a big deal to finally respect your time and realize that you cannot do everything, you may want to but you also don’t want to run yourself into the deep end. Saying “No” to someone or something is an accomplishment in itself.
Huge shout out to everyone who can say no to an event or plans, you reached a big old life milestone and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
See there’s a lot of things to be celebrated as life milestones!
What have you done that is a major life milestone? Let’s normalize celebrating the little things that are really big things!
The moral of the story here is to know that you are living an amazing and fulfilled life, even if you aren’t hitting the so-called life milestones that you’re supposed to be accomplishing at your age. There are so many things to be celebrated every single day.
Real Talk – do not compare your life to someone else’s 🙂
Follow me on Instagram for all the latest! @teenafey
Who remembers Britney Spears in 2007? I absolutely do. That, my friends, is coming damn near close to hitting rock bottom. Shaved head and all Britney climbed back up from the depths of darkness to one of the best comebacks the world has ever seen. As much as I hope no one ever gets near rock bottom, there’s sometimes other things that happen in our life that can send us into an emotional spiral.
Let’s admit it, life isn’t always butterflies and rainbows. We’ve all had those moments where it seems like any and all things that can go wrong, go wrong. But let’s take a page out of Britney’s 2007 book, get back up and bounce back to your bad ass self that you know you are.
Things are going to happen, break-ups, fights, disappointments at work, even something as small as forgetting to do something you had to do! Don’t you dare let your setback ruin your comeback. Whatever it is that has got you all out of sorts, let’s handle it and get you back to the strong confident person you know you are. As one of my favorite people told me, “put on your big girl jeggings and handle it.” So let’s do the damn thing:
1. Embrace How You Are Feeling
This is your time to get your emotions out. Get mad, get angry, get ridiculously upset, give yourself five minutes of emotional time. Whatever you are going through or dealing with, really feel it and all the emotions that go with it.
Honestly, get your emotions out. A little cry never hurt anyone and neither did getting really angry about a situation. Think about what happened, really reflect on your feelings, why you feel that way, and what caused it to get to this point. Really bask in the crappiness of what happened to you. We are not in the business of brushing emotions under the rug and forgetting about them. Own it.
Seriously, let every single emotion out. Rant to your friends. Write in your journal. Throw a hissy fit in your room. Don’t punch walls or people, let’s let out our emotions while controlling anger :). Do not hold back. Why is this important? Because embracing your emotions makes you more aware of what is going on. It helps spark a little fire under your butt to do something about it and make change.
Maybe that guy you were talking to ghosted you. That sucks. You really liked him and really thought it could go somewhere. Get mad. How could someone do something like that to you?! Maybe you were expecting a promotion at work and it went to someone else. Be angry, you worked hard every day and produced quality work every single day. Maybe a relationship ended that you didn’t expect to. Losing someone close to you sucks especially when you didn’t want it to happen. Be sad, it’s okay to cry about it.
You know what happens from owning your emotions and really thinking about what’s happened? It sparks action.
2. Identify What the Problem is
You got all the feels out of the way now, so let’s move on and figure out what exactly the problem is.
Confirmed – You know how you feel about what happened to you and it’s not a good feeling. Do not allow yourself to become a Negative Nancy. It’s easy to get lost in your emotions and start thinking that different aspects of your life are falling apart also (when they really aren’t). You might even start to nit-pick yourself and ask questions like “What if I didn’t do this?” or “What if I had done that?” What if questions are deadly, avoid those at all costs.
Let’s use the break-up as the example here. Break-ups suck, if you do the breaking up or get broken up with, there is still a lot of pain and emotions involved. Let’s not go Carrie Underwood in this and start keying the side of trucks.
First ask yourself – How exactly do you feel about what’s happened and why?
“Like trash” has been my go-to for when I feel negative emotions, but that’s not helping yourself. Think about each emotion and why.
Why are you sad? You’re losing one of your best friends are it’s hard to imagine life without them. You weren’t expecting this. You think you hurt someone you deeply care about’s feelings. You already miss the person. Why are you angry? You can’t believe you poured so much into one relationship to have it fail. Some choice words might have been exchanged and you are heated about it.
Next, ask yourself – Does it make sense that I feel this way?
Let’s be honest with ourselves, sometimes the crisis handling stops here. I am 100% guilty of realizing my emotions are uncalled for and it’s pretty funny to look back and laugh about some things that I let get under my skin. But remember if you neglect to reflect on why you are feeling some sort of way, you might not ever have this realization. Go through each emotion and if you come to the conclusion that all those feels are justifiable, then:
Finally, ask yourself – What is it that is really bothering me?
Maybe you start to come to the conclusion that you are sad because this happened again. Rejection and failure are two pretty hard pills to swallow.
Maybe you understand that some of your actions, or theirs, were just unacceptable and the relationship was unhealthy. Letting go of something, even if it is not right for you, is tough to do.
Use these questions for whatever situation you find yourself in. Understand exactly what it is that is causing you to be upset.
3. Find the Silver Lining
I am such a firm believer that there is a positive that comes out of every crappy situation. Our girl Britney went from shaving her head in an emotional meltdown to releasing the #1 Billboard Album, Circus. She even etched that $30 million dollar Las Vegas residency deal a few years ago! If she could get through 2007, then you can damn right get through today.
As miserable as you may think a situation is, there is also some piece of positivity that can come from it. Change your perspective and realize that not everything is in the shitter. It’s difficult to do when you think everything is going up in flames in one big old dumpster fire around you, but there are so many good things happening that you might not even notice.
Try to come up for 5 things that make you happy, they can be anything! They might have nothing to do with the situation that just happened, but get brainstorming. Once you do this you might have a different perspective looking at the crap setback you have in your life. Look at the situation through a different pair on glasses, and it might open your eyes to seeing some new things.
Plan Your Comeback
Now that you looked through the original problem and can see that it is not as debilitating as it seemed. It’s time to get to action.
So let’s make the damn thing happen.
Pick your head up and get to work. No sulking here. You don’t get time back and the more time you wait the tougher it will be to get a grasp on what’s happened to you. The final few questions you need to ask yourself here are –
What am I going to accomplish? Is this maintainable and something I can stick to? How am I going to get this done?
With that I’ll leave you with something to think about. Only you know what you are really feeling and going through, don’t let anyone tell you that you should or should not be having a set of emotions. Because you are in control of how you feel, you are also in control of how you come back!
Remember that you are strong, confident, amazing human who is capable of incredible things. Don’t ever let some person or event take that from you.
I really hope this was helpful for you. I’ve been dealing with my own setback this past week and am starting to feel like I am getting back to being myself. I know I’m a far ways off and know that really getting over something takes time, but now is a great time to start and make the mindset change. – Tina
Want to see more posts like this? Subscribe!
Success! You're on the list.
Whoops! There was an error and we couldn't process your subscription. Please reload the page and try again.